Small Penis Rule

The small penis rule is a strategy used by authors to evade…

Owen Pallett: Baroque Pop

SO COOL

Speaking of Kottke …

He has a great post up about John Tyler’s grandsons still being alive, which is insane to think about seeing as how Tyler was the 10th President of the US and was born in 1790.

He suggests coining a term for someone or something that bridges a huge span of time, in this case almost two hundred years of history.

There’s also this 1956 game show appearance of a Lincoln assassination eyewitness and Supreme Court Justice Oliver Wendell Holmes (1841-1935) shaking hands during his lifetime with both John Quincy Adams (b 1767) and John F Kennedy (d 1963), one man spanning 200 years of American history.

Jason suggests “history bridges”. I suggested “minding the history gap“. His is more of a noun, I suppose mine is more of a verb — as in John Tyler’s grandson is minding the history gap. Neither really hits the nail on the proverbial head, so to speak. But doesn’t there need to be a coined phrase for this sort of phenomenon.

Happy Inside


Amy Lombard photographed awkward moments in IKEA stores, a book with her series is being published. She’s now raising funds with pre-orders. See more.

quote out of context

A French doctor specializing in the same operation said hundreds of men applied to him every day, longing for monkey testicles.

Goodbye

by Kim Noble

(Did you spot the stormtrooper?)

posted by Pete

My current desktop

What say you, Flockers? Too skeuomorphic or cute-sy?

(via core77)

Some kind of lesson

Last night demons took possession of someone dear to me. The demons smashed things up, and they cracked up the yarrow stalks I use for I Ching readings.

On my way out the door, I felt the smack of my I Ching volume in the small of my back.

Today I am smiling.

There is a load of yarrow nearby, and the sun is shining. I am cutting yarrow stalks.

A Lot Did Happen

Hey gang, putting together one of those year-end compilations isn’t as easy as you’d think.

What did I leave out?

Have you seen this?

Wait until about the 4:45 mark…

Dear Clusterflock: 2011

Thumbs up or thumbs down?

Lost in Translation

Xfinity recently started adding transcriptions of voicemail messages to its email notifications. Most of the time they’re non-sensical. Sometimes almost funny. Here’s a message to my wife Lois from our Dr. Allegar, reminding her of an upcoming physical.

“Hi this message is for Luis I’m calling from Doctor alexander’s(?) Atlanta to confirm your appointment for Monday at two o’clock for his vehicle immediately. If you could give us a call back here blaming me for Monday at two o’clock. Thank you.”

I can understand Lois->Luis and Allegar->alexander, but it took me a while to figure out that vehicle was the translation for physical. Why they asked us to “call back here blaming me for Monday” still totally eludes me.

Home Video, The Automatic Process


Filmed in Treverton, Pennsylvania, USA, at the remains of a now defunct coal processing facility.

Poop Brush

This morning I noticed my toothbrush smelled like ass. I didn’t know what to do.

I didn’t exactly yank it out of my mouth right away. I was thinking.

When I removed the brush I looked at it for a time. Then I sniffed it. It smelled pretty high at the base. Pretty extremely fucking stinky. I thought am I in the movies?! Who the hell has put my toothbrush up their ass, and doesn’t this clown know the right way to insert it?

Ahem. Turns out there was a simple answer. The silver goblet thing that holds the toothbrush was full of a terrible solution. The smell was primordial. It almost knocked me out.

Tip: use a transparent container for your toothbrushes, or create new stinky life in the home. And when you rinse the mouth, rinse the container. Simples.

Secret Santa?

Is there any interest in doing a Clusterflock Secret Santa gift exchange?

There are programs online that randomize the list so no one person will know all the assignments.

Suggestion if people are interested:
• Sign up by Wednesday November 30th.
• Buy your assigned person something worth $10-$15.
• Get it in the mail for the recipient by Wednesday December 14th.

On a related note

Headline of the day, deux

Ancient Whale Bones Discovered in Desert, Parents Outraged by Hooters Waitress’s Visit to Special-Needs School.

Da Vinci’s To-Do List

Admittedly, it’s more impressive than my own to-do lists. (via)

Currently on Repeat

King Krule – The Noose of Jah City. It’s making this November bearable today.

Icon4x4Design’s Ford Bronco

How do I feel about this car?

Question

Do you think I’m to blame for the death of Natalie Wood? Should I be worried the LAPD are re-opening the case?

You make me wanna shoop.

What are you supposed to do when you want to have sex more than your boyfriend does?

sketching in others’ styles

Mike Holmes is drawing himself in the style of other cartoonists. In anticipation of seeing the Tintin movie, I give you some Herge.

I was thinking about cats again

A former School of The Art Institute classmate, Stephen Eichhorn, is working on some cat collages. He showed up on my radar recently with yesterday’s The Fox is Black post.

Dear Clusterflock

Here I was having a terrible morning, and then I logged in to my work computer and got on here. I just noticed my stress headache is gone. Why didn’t someone tell me about all y’all when I was in rehab or when I felt like dying? I’m glad someone told me about clusterflock or I just don’t know where I would be right now.

Got any good jokes?

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