My New Motto
by way of Deron to Sheila to Cindy to me:
“Just pitch me in the pussy dump.”
Swiss Chard
If I were a real photographer like Deron or Phil or Barry–I would take many pictures of Swiss Chard growing tall and back-lit by afternoon sun. I saw this batch at a local nursery and went home to get my point-and-shoot camera. That red! That green! The glow coming through made me imagine other worlds, and the way the sun looks from behind closed eyelids.
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Back in the Golden Age
Built a scaffolding, scraped the side of the house, replaced the tails at the top. I don’t think I could climb up there now. Cindy got tired of how long it was all taking me and hired some people to paint the rest of the house.
Before and After: a Professional Job
Who Needs History
AUSTIN – Republicans on the State Board of Education soundly rejected a Democratic-backed proposal Thursday that would have required Texas students to be taught the reasons behind the prohibition of a state religion in the Bill of Rights.
See the whole sad tale here.
Dear Clusterflock
This may have been asked before, but: What place of business have you been most heartbroken to see close its doors for good?
Harvard Book Store gets Espresso Book Machine
What forward-thinking authors and publishers are after is a means of leveraging the “long tail” principle, which holds that declining distribution and inventory costs have made it possible to profit by selling tiny quantities of many different products rather than—as was formerly the rule—immense quantities of only a few products. By bridging the still-pronounced divide between electronic and “tangible” publishing, advances like the Espresso Book Machine could represent the realization of this model in the familiar space of the bookstore. “Even with conservative assumptions about demand, we will profit from this service,” Heather Gain, marketing manager of the Harvard Book Store, told Bookselling This Week.
See Poets & Writers article here. Heads up, Andrew–although you have probably already seen this article.
Let a Professional Do It
When I posted this, the phrase “insert in post” caught my eye.
At the Front Door
Dear Clusterflock
Today I quit on an online survey concerning a “buying experience”; the only reason I was doing it was because it kept popping up in my mail and taking it seemed the quickest way to make it go away. But I came to a question that pissed me off and made me delete the whole thing. It asked me to indicate my “position” in my household: was I the Head of household? The spouse of the Head of household? A dependent of the Head of household? and so on. Do you find yourself thinking as I do that the whole notion of there necessarily being A head of household is archaic? In my view, the whole thing smacks of that Southern Baptist insistence that women “submit” to the will of their husbands, which I find to be one of many reprehensible notions they espouse. Can’t we get past the whole Command Structure thing? Is this just me going off, or do you have feeling about this?
Dear Clusterflock
Favorite pie? Hot, or cold? When?
What Cindy Just Said
Well fuck my rubber anus under the fold.
I Want to Live Here
See more pictures of tiny solar houses here.
A Mia-Decorated Cake
This is a butter cake with a chocolate cream cheese frosting. I made it mostly because I wanted to experiment with making frostings that aren’t just terribly unhealthy. The kinds you buy in tubs are usually made of shortening and sugar. This one is light cream cheese, confectioner’s sugar, chocolate, and 1/4 cup of butter. And Mia added the little jellies to the top of it.
This Just In
The Potatoes beat the Christians in the Tostito Bowl.
Pope Knocked Down at Christmas Eve Mass
It wasn’t Cindy! We can prove it!
MaryBeth Burns from Paris, Texas, was about four people away from the woman who jumped the barriers and was filming the pope’s procession as the commotion started.
“All of a sudden this person sort of flew over the barricade and the Holy Father went down and all the security people were on top of it, a whole pile there, getting her off and him back up,” said Burns, who was visiting Italy with her family on a religious pilgrimage for Christmas.
A person flew–and all they could think about was the Pope.
Christmas Eve Pictures from Big Spring
The weather is/was mostly bad east of here; we could make it through to Dallas now but we are having too much fun.
Christmas Letter
Well, a blizzard has stranded us in a motel in Big Spring for Christmas Eve–but we have a stock of libations that should help. Here is this year’s contrived Christmas letter; some of you will recognize the main characters from previous letters. We hope all clusterflockers are warm and happy, wherever you are!
Christmas letter from Russell Sandene since Aunt Winnie was going to write but passed away,
Don’t you all worry—I’m here at the apartment hotel complex Aunt Winnie owned, watching over everything what with her not having a will like everybody thought she did. Poor thing was so good to me during my illegal incarcerations. She sent me letters about how to make money even in jail. If you all are trying to remember me from any of the family reunions in the past, don’t—I was there in my heart but people will turn on you if the law has made mistakes and they know where your going to be.
Aunt Winnie has all these Chiwowwows you could sure help me out with if you have kids you want chewed down to size. I put them under the house but they ate back up threw the floor at the vents. Haven’t had much trouble with them today since I fed them all that gravy and bisket dow.
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Pear Wine on Stanton Street
Papa said the drunk locked his friend out of the trailer on a January night, woke in the morning to find him frozen on the porch–and set fire to the trailer as he sat on a couch inside.
I don’t know why things can’t happen faster. What steps cancel out, early on? The child’s one meal; the mother giving it; the father going for the doctor.
The stars are mostly like they were. Which means I just left the party yesterday, maybe. Cold makes light and breath precise, but questions cast about for purchase.
I gave him a coat, Papa said. But that was a long time ago.
Holiday Jewelry Commercials in Need of New Copy
Diamond Dick opens the little box; she shows the weakness he likes and reaches for him, leading with the puppies he bought for her last year–and the recession is over.
Captions?
Overheard
“And then things took a 360 for the worse.”
My new motto.
Mental Calendar–Just had to Draw It
What Cindy just Said
“Oh that’s great, coming from someone who used to jerk off to Petula Clark.”
Have You Noticed
that scientists often seem to gesture with the backs of their hands? Do you think this is because they are so often holding chalk?
Looking for a Pen that will Grade Papers
“This is the tragic story of a man who’s essay writes about his events.”