It was a good night
Perplexing
As attorney general in 2006, McDonnell said Kaine exceeded his constitutional authority by extending protections to gays.
Dear Clusterflock
What is the opposite of militia?
Work
During my ninth hour of being on my feet today I thought, “My dogs are killing me,” but they weren’t. They were peeing on the slide.
What Amy Said (Not Deron’s Amy edition)
While lying on the bed naked: “Baby come here. Do you want to pick your pictures for cluster stock flock?”
Unforseen Risks
Post Avatar Distress Disorder
“Ever since I went to see ‘Avatar’ I have been depressed. Watching the wonderful world of Pandora and all the Na’vi made me want to be one of them. I can’t stop thinking about all the things that happened in the film and all of the tears and shivers I got from it,” Mike posted. “I even contemplate suicide thinking that if I do it I will be rebirthed in a world similar to Pandora and the everything is the same as in ‘Avatar.’ “
Rx
Don’t die (might not be an afterlife)
Did you know that “Rx” comes from an abbreviation for “recipe”? Or maybe it’s related to symbols for Jupiter or Horus. Nobody is sure!
Somethingnyms (Cindy?)
Before the electric guitar, there was only the guitar, and it was acoustic. The “acoustic guitar” name is a retronym. What, if anything, is the term “electric guitar” known as in this situation?
If the acoustic guitar were to disappear forever, would we still call the electric guitar electric? Would those who have never known an acoustic guitar refer to the electric simply as a guitar? If my naming follows the pattern, the answer to both of the latter questions is “yes.” My father’s mother still calls me “David Adam” always, and Mom’s family refers to me as “Davito” even in the absence of the larger, non-Adam David.
Here’s what I was thinking about
My dryer has settings (in addition to the timed drying) for “More dry” and “Less dry” and of course the sliding space in between them. Why, though? I have never wanted my clothes to be “just a touch dry”, “a trifle dry”, or “middling dry”. If I’m in a hurry I will settle for “quite dry”, but I prefer “really quite dry” or “exceedingly dry.”
I have decided to spare you the part about how “less dry” could actually imply that the device moistens the items inside it. That would be ridiculous.
On the matter of certain flying pests
With apologies to Cindy
They were all in love with dyin’
They were doin’ it in Texas.
Do you ever have a song pop into your head that you haven’t heard in years? Does that song ever make you wonder how the hell it got any airtime?
Add Batteries, Aim, Fire
I’m 16 years old and have an awkward dilemma. I’m thinking about buying a vibrator because I am very curious, but the thing is, I want to talk to my mom about it first.
A conversation in my household
Sarah: Will you curl my hair for me?
Amy: Get a perm.
Sarah: That’s permanent!
My wife’s boyfriend broke my jaw with a fencepost
A gesture of surprise
I read a small story which I think many of you will enjoy. Hopefully none are discouraged by the medium. Other stories there are also entertaining, in different ways.
Naked Baby Photos
What did y’all look like as babies? Here I was a month and change old. This was in a photo album belonging to my uncle which I am scanning for my mother.
Second Guessing
Sometimes while typing I will second guess the appropriateness of the word I’m trying to use. I’ll stop to search google for “define:word” to double check myself. To date I haven’t found any justification for my doubt.
Does anyone else do this?
You can’t have your lamb and eat it too
So a group of children at Lydd primary school decided to eat it. I might understand an uproar if the teachers said, “Well, I reck’n it’s about that time. Say g’bye to Marcus,” but the kids decided it.
Cooper’s Bad Dream
Daisy Owl has a brother named Cooper, and Cooper was having an existential crisis. Daisy is not very comforting.
ALSO: Mr. Owl is an actual owl! And his friend Steve is a bear!
We considered ourselves to be a powerful culture.
Sending this message was important to us.
(via @johndiesattheen)
And I’ll be the first to say
Could Centaurs Masturbate?
I’ve been having fun playing with Question Party. Many of the questions are poorly worded and many of the answers are trollish or worthless, but sometimes you get something worthwhile.
Dear clusterflock,
Could centaurs masturbate?
<3
Dave
Dear Clusterflock: You forgot to remind me.
I was gonna ask this question a while back, but I asked something else instead. Nobody reminded me about this question but I woke up and I thought about it and I couldn’t sleep without putting it down on paper. Except that by “paper” I mean “the internet.”
Which of the following statements do you identify with? If both, do you feel one more strongly than the other? Describe how you feel about this relationship, or whether you think one exists:
- When things in my life go wrong I wonder what I’ve done wrong.
- When things in my life go well I wonder what I’ve done right.
It is very late at night and my wording is coming off more like some survey than a thoughtful question. I hope you’ll forgive me. Don’t be limited by the wording. Extrapolate, share, grow, embrace, interface… you know, all those things George Carlin wasn’t going to be doing.
Trolling for Credit
(3) provide at least 10 posts defending ID that you’ve made on “hostile” websites, the posts totalling [sic] 2,000 words, along with the URLs (i.e., web links) to each post (worth 20% of your grade)