After Every Apple Keynote, We Get This
I know Apple memes go viral incredibly quickly and all, but can we just have one major Apple event without everyone speculating that Steve Jobs is sick?
In 2006 the same thing was speculated, and not just by one source. There were a few murmurs of it in 2007, and this year it’s back with a vengeance.
I know that tens of billions of market cap dollars rest on Steve’s position at the helm of Apple, but perhaps Steve has changed his diet? He seems, given what we all know about his lifestyle at a meta level, to be the sort of guy who would investigate a CR-based diet to extend his health and longevity. Or perhaps we’ve all forgotten what a lean person looks like. And let’s not forget the man is in his mid-50s, and there’s this thing called natural aging. Has anyone heard of it?
I know I’m adding to the meme with this very post, but to me, Steve didn’t look unhealthy, just thin.
Coal: Cheap, Abundant, Clean
I present the following video to you in memoriam of a conversation I recently had with a person who did not realize electricity comes from coal. And no, I am not making this up. Sometimes the depth of American ignorance and entitlement is more remarkable than I’m comfortable facing.
This video is done by the Free Love Forum, a sketch comedy troupe whose endeavors have covered TV, radio, animation and theater. I discovered them (and this video clip) via And I Am Not Lying, and have followed them ever since.
This is obviously satirical, and it represents the perfect intersection of ignorance and the current, trendy alternative-energy meme.
Coal: Cheap, Abundant, Clean (Video)
Letters To Those Who Have Been Left Behind
Here’s a fantastically insane blog hosting letters written by Christians to non-Christians about why all the good people have up and disappeared from Earth and the lowly heathen jerks have been left behind.
Dear Friend,
Are you looking for me? Is the world looking for millions of missing people that have just vanished in an instant? Are all little children around the globe part of the missing group? If so, I can tell you what has happened. Don’t believe the very convincing lies you will hear. Don’t believe UFO’s got us. Don’t believe some cosmic reaction erased us.
The truth is – are you ready for this? – we’re at a wedding. Yup. In fact, we are the “bride.” The “groom” is Jesus, the Messiah, the Promised One from the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob. (Hear, O Israel!) He has come to take His cride, the true Church and all little innocent ones, out of this world because of what is coming.
Yes, yes, I know. There are all sorts of Christians running around now insisting that this explanation CANNOT be the correct one because THEY are Left Behind. This may include some very visible Christians, like maybe a Pope or something. What does this tell you? It tells you that any “Christian” left behind was a phony. They may have said they believed, blah blah blah, but God knows the heart of men, and He has seen that they are fakes.
It’s like fan fiction, only 1000x more pathological.
(thx Sean)
Dear Clusterflock
What do you make of this?
McCain Admits He’s an Absolute Illiterate When It Comes to Computers
No worries, I’m sure his wife will be around forever. Besides, computers are really not that popular, and I don’t think this Internet thing has much of a future anyway. To be honest, I don’t see any practical application at all for technology when it comes to the land’s highest office. None.
Huffington Post: McCain Admits He Doesn’t Know How to Use a Computer (Video)
Wheelchair Meets Escalator
This is both fascinating and horrific. Mostly horrific.
(via Cyn-C)
I’m Voting Republican
(via Cyn-C)
Shameless Plug
I would like to take a moment of your time to announce something that I hope, over time, will become something rather successful.
As many of you know I have a personal blog in addition to writing for this here Clusterflock thing. However, I’ve recently started another blog, called Unfiltered, that serves as my employer’s blog. I want it to be everything most company blogs aren’t: interesting, authentic, transparent, fresh, relevant, not boring. My goal is to make it worth reading on a daily basis, even if you aren’t wholly interested in the consulting business, PeopleSoft or SaaS technology.
So, if you’re inclined, stop on by. Tell others about it if you feel the prospective subject matter would be interesting. Grok the RSS if that’s your thing. The kickoff post pretty much lays out what the blog will and will not be.
Thanks. We now return to the regularly-scheduled ideological chaos.
Clint Eastwood: Spike Lee Should "Shut His Face"
Eastwood still isn’t into pulling punches:
Clint Eastwood has advised rival film director Spike Lee to “shut his face” after the African-American complained about the racial make-up of Eastwood’s films.
In an interview with the Guardian published today, Eastwood rejected Lee’s complaint that he had failed to include a single African-American soldier in his films Flags of Our Fathers and Letters from Iwo Jima, both about the 1945 battle for the Japanese island.
In typically outspoken language, Eastwood justified his choice of actors, saying that those black troops who did take part in the battle as part of a munitions company didn’t raise the flag. The battle is known by the image of US marines raising the American flag on Mount Suribachi.
“The story is Flags of Our Fathers, the famous flag-raising picture, and they didn’t do that. If I go ahead and put an African-American actor in there, people’d go: ‘This guy’s lost his mind.’ I mean, it’s not accurate.” Referring to Lee, he added: “A guy like him should shut his face.”
Amazing that revisionist history would actually be considered a virtue by some over factual historical representation. Just staggering.
(thx Mike)
New Car: 2008 Volkswagen GTI MkV
I previously wrote that I was considering a Toyota Prius to replace my Dodge Charger R/T, which is approaching its lease mileage limit and sucks down over $500 in gas per month. I was enamored with the Prius, even its stunted-tortoise looks, until I drove it.
I’m a car guy. I’ve always had a car with some degree of power and agility. The Prius, however, is the diametric opposite of that: it’s ungodly slow and handles like a whale on a skateboard. It does one thing very well: bring the MPGs. Aside from that, I found it to be soulless driving.
My quest led me to the 2008 VW 4-door GTI, which I’ve always admired as a cheap, economical, yet powerful hatchback that has been through its ups and downs since its debut in 1983. Today’s version — arguably the best ever — shares its chassis with the Audi A3, and for the price, I could not find another car that had what the GTI offered. The DSG (direct shift gearbox) transmission — a dual-clutch semi-manual setup — was the deal-maker for me, as I found its performance (and lack of normal auto transmission downsides like a torque converter) to be spectacular. I think the DSG defines the platform, frankly.
As for MPGs, if you keep your foot out of the 2.0L turbocharged/intercooled engine, you can see up to 32-34 MPG on the highway. Get into the boost too hard, though, and you’ll get around 22-24.
To me, the Prius gave up too much to deliver its efficiency. It does one thing very well. However, as a car enthusiast, I’m willing to take less MPGs for the car’s surprisingly edgy Mr. Hyde capabilities.
So, the decision is made and I’ve taken delivery of the car. Full review to follow if y’all want it.
Gas? $4/gallon?
George W. Bush hadn’t heard that. Weird.
Update: The World Ends This Friday, June 12
The incredibly normal, down-to-earth man in the video below says the world will end this coming Friday. Then again, he also said the world would end in 2000, and when that didn’t happen he picked 2006.
Anyway, this sorta sucks. The weather is supposed to be nice, too.
(thx Cyn-C)
Dear Clusterflock
Am I the only one who absolutely abhors baseball? As in, cannot tolerate the game for even a few minutes and wouldn’t notice at all if baseball disappeared tomorrow?
Detroit Mayor Kwame Kilpatrick Booed at Stanley Cup Parade
If you’ve been following the travails of Detroit Mayor Kwame Kilpatrick for any length of time, you know by now he’s a giant asshole and absolute embarrassment to the city of Detroit — which is an accomplishment in and of itself given the fact Detroit hasn’t ranked in anyone’s top cities list in, like, forever. So it’s anybody’s guess as to (a) why he accepted an invitation to speak at last Friday’s Stanley Cup parade in Detroit, and (b) why he actually showed up. The thug should have sent one of his many bodyguards or stripper-murderers.
Let’s keep in mind that the demographic for the Stanley Cup parade is essentially white suburbanites who like violent contact sports played with swords on players’ feet and that allow players to brandish a composite weapon with which they are encouraged to accost other players. Not exactly Kwame’s hometome posse.
She Thought She Won a Toyota
I Am Going to Buy This Book
This has potential to be amazing.
With that simple question and an enormous white suggestion box, the New York City based collaborative Illegal Art canvassed the five boroughs, collecting suggestions from passersby of every stripe the young, the old, the filthy rich, the homeless, the mouthy, and the shy. “Love each other or perish.” “Take breath mints when offered.” “Give me a break!” In true New York style, the suggestions are by turns hilarious, nonsensical, angering, and heartwarming. Some people held the suggestion box prisoner while they wrote suggestion after suggestion; others ignored the box, but then came scrambling back with a sudden idea. One woman scribbled as she walked down Wall Street: “More time in the day.” One man in Harlem, when asked if he would like to make a suggestion, said, “Isn’t it obvious? World peace.” Or at the base of the Brooklyn Bridge, a woman sadly wrote her misspelled suggestion and then held it up for all to read: “Never brake up with someone on a bridge.” With over 350 entries and 50 photos of the suggestion box in action, Suggestion is authentic, honest, and totally appealing a testiment to the the public’s innermost desire, whether it’s free beer, free daycare, or free pumpkin pie every Thursday.
(thx Leo)
When ‘Writer’ Means ‘Typer’
Idea: how about you get a newspaper and type every single word of it into a book, then try to market the book as avant garde neo-poetry? Kenneth Goldsmith did exactly that with Day, an 840-page book that contains every single word of an NYTimes issue.
He typed an entire issue of the New York Times into an 840-page book called Day. He recently completed a trilogy, The Weather, Traffic and Sports. They are transcriptions of a year of radio weather reports, a 24-hour traffic cycle and the radio broadcast of a Yankees game. Ums, uhs and ads included. If you think that sounds unreadable, you’re right. Goldsmith himself says, “I don’t read them. I get bored.”
Odd way to get your 15 minutes, but hey, at least he got them.
‘Uncreative Writer’ Retypes the ‘New York Times’
(via swissmiss)
iPhone 3G: The Siren Song
I have resisted the iPhone for a solid year now, instead sticking with my BlackBerry 8130 on Verizon. But increasingly the BB isn’t doing it for me, and I find myself lusting after iPhones even more than when they launched. I told myself some time ago that I would wait until iPhone v2 arrives, and assuming it has 3G capability, I would take the plunge then.
Tomorrow at WWDC might be the tipping point for me. If the new model amazes — and I think it will, but not NEARLY as much as the 3rd-party software demos will — I will buy one and make the move to AT&T.
I found some purported (‘leaked’) images of the 3G iPhone over on Engadget, but I have my doubts as to whether or not these are real. In fact, I agree with John Gruber: before WWDC, all ‘leaked’ info should be assumed false, as leaked Apple images/news are amazingly viral before any headline Apple event.
If you are an iPhone user, what are your impressions of the device (and network) after owning one for some time? Any insight into the whole iPhone vs. BlackBerry debate?
The World’s Most Expensive Fluid
For the longest time, I’ve tried to tell friends and family members that inkjet printers are a racket and create a completely false economy — they represent the razor blade business model on steroids. Consumers love the low entry price and seemingly have no problem whatsoever paying 40%-50% of the printer’s cost just for ink refills. They also don’t seem to notice that ink — especially black — is used at a supernaturally fast rate.
With my old printer, it took only 1.75 refills and I had bought the printer brand-new again.
With any luck, the jig will soon be up, because as it turns out, inkjet ink is the most expensive substance you’ll ever buy:
And wouldn’t you know, it turns out that printer ink, especially for photos, is probably the most expensive substance per volume you’ll ever buy—more expensive than gold, oil, perfume, even blood in most cases. If you’re buying name-brand ink cartridges, which typically hold a few milliliters of ink, you’re shelling out the equivalent of between $3,000 and $5,000 per gallon. (Suddenly, spending $45 to fill your car’s gas tank doesn’t seem so extravagant, eh?) Just as an idea of how valuable this particular golden goose is, more than 40 percent of HP’s $2.63 billion operating profits from last quarter came from it’s imaging and printing group alone. In other words, ink keeps printer companies in the black.
So what to do about printing photos? I just send mine to Costco or even Apple and have them shipped to me, depending on urgency. That way, I avoid the cost of the printer, ink and paper. My only printer is a reliable Brother B&W laser, which I will replace with a color laser eventually (which won’t be for photos).
Bottom line: these printers are a back-loaded ripoff and have been since day one. Now, most manufacturers (save HP) are even making their ink cartridges impossible to get aftermarket ink into, which means they can’t be refilled easily (or at all).
Universal Advice About Getting a Mortgage
A friend of mine is buying a house for the first time, and he’s going about the mortgage process. He asked my advice and this is pretty much what I told him.
Right now, the mortgage business is like like a giant glass box with a dozen hornets’ nests ripped asunder in it, and the hornets each think the others ruined their home. So they have lasers, which they kept in their bedside tables. And they’re shooting each other with them. And each time one gets hit by a laser, instead of dying and slowly diminishing the larger problem, it splits into three more angry hornets, sort of like the large asteroids in Asteroids did. So eventually the big glass box gets entirely filled with expanding, multiplying, irritable hornets and the box explodes, unable to contain the teeming, angry, burning mass. The the hornets take over the world and we all wind up working for them in cubicles, and the sun sets on humanity. THE END.
The mortgage business is a mess and you call the shots, so shop around. Your credit score dictates your interest rate eligibility. Everyting is normalized against FICO, and some lenders consider that more than others. Others look at payment history and debt payoffs more critically.
Even though your credit is likely good, there is an overcorrection afoot: because the major banks shat the bad so badly by giving ARM loans to high-risk buyers who did nothing but drink cheap wine and play online poker, they’re unnaturally tentative when it comes to new loans, especially if the applicant has no prior mortgage history. Still, if your credit is good (which is all about FICO), then you should get a competitive rate. I wouldn’t touch an ARM, though. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.
Also: nobody in mortgage banking knows “the market has bottomed.” If you hear this from someone, walk away immediately.
dear clusterflock
What are you afraid of?
dear clusterflock
I drive a Dodge Charger R/T, which I’m convinced is made of human feces and some wires. I hate the car across every dimension: the quality sucks, it’s a boat, the mileage is horrible (around 17-18 in summer; 15-16 in winter), the brakes warped at 23K miles, the horn honked randomly until the 3rd trip to the shop, and when I try to start it in the morning it cranks and wheezes and turns like an air-cooled VW that has been mortared and set aflame. I often want to punch the car but don’t for fear of something important falling off/out, like the transmission or an axle.
Why did I buy it? Good question. I think it’s because I was stupid on that particular day.
Regardless, I am coming up on my lease mileage limit and I have 8 months left on this screaming piece of shit, and with my monthly gas expense hovering nicely in the $450 or so range, I’m thinking about just buying this thing out and getting a 2008 Prius. I’m fairly sure the math works. (Math is numbers and language is letters, right?)
It’s to that end I am seeking your opinions, anecdotes and experience with a late-model Prius. I know it’s not some supercar in terms of performance, but that’s not what I want in my daily driver. (That’s what I will buy a GT-R for.) I want a car that will get me to and fro with a minimum of this thing we call money leaving my pocket.
For reference, my Charger costs me about $1100-$1250 per month to operate. The Prius will cost me around $740. I think I know which way the alligator mouth is pointing on this one.
Discuss. First one to call me a brainwashed hippy wins.
mass or zombie takeover. (redundant?)
the solution to soaring gas prices: god
How we didn’t realize this sooner is beyond me. Apparently, since our federal leaders aren’t doing much about the rising costs of gasoline, there is but one logical conclusion: ask God to lower them. I mean, duh.
“God is the only one we can turn to at this point,” said Twyman, 59. “Our leaders don’t seem to be able to do anything about it. The prices keep soaring and soaring.”
Gas prices have been driven relentlessly higher this year by the bull market for crude oil, gasoline’s main ingredient. A gallon of regular now costs $3.89, on average, in California, while the national average has hit $3.58.
To solve the problem, Twyman isn’t begging the Lord for any specific act of intervention. He is not asking God to make OPEC pump more oil. Nor is he praying for all the speculative investors to be purged from the New York Mercantile Exchange, where crude oil is traded.
Instead, he says anyone who wants to follow his example should keep it simple.
“God, deliver us from these high gas prices,” Twyman said. “That’s all they have to say.
Given the massive logjam in the world’s unanswered prayer queue (I never did get my Beeman pellet gun when I asked for one), I can’t see God getting around to this anytime soon, but I could be wrong. Maybe stillborn babies, widespread regional wars, disease, poverty and child abuse don’t rank all that high in God’s world. Maybe God truly cares about gas prices, because the religious right is where most of his prayer energy comes from, and they do love their Escalades and Navigators.
I think I’m onto something.
how to stare something off your paw, assuming you’re a cat, of course
When the prolonged glare fails, then what?
(via Cyn-C)
