The best thing you’ll read today about junk food.
“We knew this was a breakthrough idea, so we put on our relentless hats and were determined to not let [this thing] beat us.”
“I mean, it was actually important that we left the orange dusting on your fingers because otherwise, we’re not delivering the genuine Doritos [experience].”
“I remember trying to sell guacamole in the Midwest and people were like, ‘What’s all this green stuff in my burrito?’”
“We realized we needed more capacity, because we couldn’t slow down the Nacho Cheese line in order to create capacity for Cool Ranch.”
“In fact, the companies ended up creating a proprietary seasoner in the process, not least because for workers on the manufacturing line, the plumes of Doritos seasoning would create an almost Nacho Cheese gas chamber.”
headline of the day
Giant Penis Shuts Down The Nürburgring
photo out of context
headline of the day
headline of the day
Jon Hamm’s penis has been banned from the set of Mad Men
headline of the day
Ukrainian Attack Dolphins on the Loose
Beach House – Wishes
via Coda Hale
This man is my hero.
Need to borrow/rent live ducks (not a joke) (Austin)
Hosting a house party. Need ducks for party game.
via Evan Sanders
headline of the day
Pill promises to turn your poop into glittering gold
I think this would be a welcome addition to most sports
headline of the day
Two men arrested in alleged plot to murder, castrate Justin Bieber
headline of the day
Softball-sized eyeball washes up on Florida beach
photo out of context
via Trevor Timm via Tim Carmody
photo out of context
photo out of context
headline of the day
In Lieu of Bibles, Hotel Stocks Nightstands with Fifty Shades of Grey
quote out of context
Olympics organisers have warned businesses that during London 2012 their advertising should not include a list of banned words, including “gold”, “silver” and “bronze”, “summer”, “sponsors” and “London”.
tweet of the day
Abraham Lincoln Vampire Hunter is easily the worst thing to happen to President Lincoln in a theatre.
— Christine Estima (@christineestima) June 30, 2012
tweet of the day
What you get when a group of unabashed navel-gazers tries to invent the future is really fine-grained tools for gazing at navels.
— Phillip Bowden (@pbowden) June 28, 2012
tweet of the day
Watching cable news because you want to be informed is like going to Olive Garden because you want to live in Italy.
— Andy Borowitz (@BorowitzReport) June 4, 2012
quote out of context
If you can’t tell whether you’re actually in a negative situation or just an ungrateful person who blames everyone else for your problems, drink.
If you suspect you might not even have much reason to be unhappy and in fact just overthink everything and lack a stable internal compass, drink.
If you think you might just feel lost because you drink too often, but then you think too much when you aren’t drinking, cry.
tweet of the day
This M.C. Escher Museum is pretty cool, but I’m starting to regret taking the stairs.
— dan guterman (@danguterman) May 30, 2012
