Dear Clusterflock
Do you usually eat breakfast?
Entire Staff of “Canadian Oxford Dictionary” Laid Off
The company will publish future editions of the “Canadian Oxford Dictionary” with the assistance of freelancers and the lexicography department in Oxford, England, Stover said.
“We’re quite confident we’re going to be able to keep our finger on the pulse of Canadian English,” he said.
(source)
There are just so many different directions in which one could take this…
ZeFrank Must Be So Happy…
Rubber Duckies Leading the Fight Against Global Warming
NASA scientists have dropped 90 yellow rubber ducks into holes in Greenland’s Jakobshavn glacier in an attempt to understand why glaciers speed up during summer months as they slip into the sea. The ducks, attached to a football-sized probe, have an email address and message prompting anyone who discovers the ducks to contact NASA to reveal where and when the duck was found. There is an undisclosed award for anyone who finds one of these rubber global warming crusaders.
Obama Signals Strong Support for NASA
This guy is making it harder and harder for me not to vote for him.
dear clusterflock
I’ve been on hiatus from the Intertubes for like two months. Which is ridiculous.
So: What’d I miss? Does anybody have the notes I can borrow? Is there a Reader’s Digest condensed version or something?
And, specifically, what have you ’flockers been up to? I’ve missed you terribly…
Stool Doody
So I work a little part-time job a couple days a week (at a library), and today I was told I was on “stool duty,” which my (equivalent of an eleven year old’s) brain basically hears as “poop poopy*,” so in celebration of that, I give you the latest in the world of poop:
- Democratic Convention May Debut Use of Poop Gun
It’s basically like the sick-sticks in Minority Report, except it works in the, uhh, other direction. - Bird Poop Facials
No, not that kind of facials. The other kind of facials. You pervert. - Teacher Receives Grant for Alternative Fuel Source Project
The source? Worm poop and sugar beets. My mom used to make a nice worm poop and sugar beets casserole for Sunday dinner. Ahh, those were the days… - Spraying It Pink—The Latest Scheme To Tackle Dog Fouling
Because dying the poop pink will apparently embarrass dog owners into cleaning up after their pets? Really? The secondary purpose, it seems, is to help people avoid stepping in the doo. Of course, whoever’s painting the turds could probably use that time cleaning them up, no?
*I’d try to explain what it really meant, but it’s just not worth the effort of contextualization for our purposes.
Harnessing the Untapped Power of Breast Motion
I didn’t actually read the article (yet), but that’s the headline, so I figure I’m justified in linking to it pretty much no matter what the content turns out to be.
The Serialized Case of Benjamin Button
If you’re at all like me, you’re exceedingly excited about David Fincher’s adaptation of F. Scott Fitzgerald’s short story “The Curious Case of Benjamin Button” (with Tilda Swinton, Cate Blanchett, and Brad Pitt, and in theatres this Xmas). Also if you’re at all like me, you probably would like to read the original story in anticipation of the film, but you probably don’t want to read it in the crappy HTML version that’s available on the University of Virginia’s website.
With that in mind, I’ve decided to put together a nicely typeset and proofread (lots of little—but obvious—typos in the UVA text) version and serialize it, one chapter per day over the next eleven weekdays, over at my site. Chapter One (PDF) is available now.
I apologize for shamelessly promoting my own crap here at the ‘flock, but it seems like the sort of thing you guys and gals might be interested in.
How Punny
As included and referenced in a link at Coudals’ Fresh Signals to the 50 best stores with puns in the title, I would just like to mention that I live literally less than a minute from the establishment pictured above.
yes I said yes I will Yes
Happy Bloomsday, clusterflock!
Meet the Press Host Tim Russert Dead at 58.
I guess this isn’t the sort of thing that normally gets posted here, but I guess I’m kinda shocked. He died at work. Sheesh. (link)
From Poop to Produce
I simply had to link to this based solely on the sub-headline. And, actually, because I really was curious:
How can salmonella, a bacterium that normally lives inside animal intestines, get on your tomatoes?
Manure, runoff, and wild animals.
Dear Clusterflock
If you were to die today, what (age) version of you would you choose to represent yourself in heaven for all eternity?
Of course, we’re assuming a few things here, like: (a.) There’s a heaven. (b.) You’re going there. (c.) Once you get there, you’ll get to choose to be seven or twenty-eight or fifty-three for the rest of ever. (d.) You don’t hate wishy-washy, pie-in-the-sky, ethereal questions like this one. &c.
Dear Clusterflock
What do you think about the mild controversy surrounding David Sedaris’s new book of essays, When You Are Engulfed in Flames, and, indeed, all of his work in general?
In case you didn’t know, Sedaris publishes as a memoirist/humorist, and his work is generally considered, promoted as, and referred to (by Sedaris and others) as non-fiction, though he admits, “it’s 97% true, I think that’s true enough. I’m not going to call it fiction because 3% of it isn’t true.” This is all the sort of thing, of course, that calls to mind the whole James Frey mess.
I Wanted To Be with Lion-O…
Okay, so, this morning, I happened to mention the ThunderCats to Alisia (my wife), and immediately, without even the slightest hesitation she said,
I loved the ThunderCats. I wanted to be with Lion-O. He was my first boyfriend.
So, should I’ve just taken that in stride, or should I still be wondering, six or seven hours later, what it means for me?
Intelligent (Ad) Design
For about a year now, Trojan Brand Condoms’ ad campaign and tagline has been
Evolve.
Use a condom every time.
They even have a national tour promoting the idea (and themselves).
So here’s my question: Isn’t the whole point of using a condom (especially every time) to, uhh, thwart evolution on all fronts? Or am I missing something?
Meet the Flockers: Jonathan McNicol
Okay, let’s see. I was born at 5:15pm on February 4, 1978, in Schenectady, New York, which means three things:
- I’m an Aquarius.
- I was born right at the beginning of the Blizzard of ‘78 (which my mom would tell you has a list of meanings of its own).
- I’m awfully excited to see Charlie Kaufman’s new movie (though that likely would’ve been the case either way).