clusterflock » Jonathan McNicol

Jonah Weiner interviews Louis C.K.

Jonathan McNicol — Sat, 07 Jan 2012 15:41:41 +0000

From The Write Around: A Series of Conversations with Writers

I worked [at KFC] for a year or something, and that was really hard work. I was a cook, and you had to do everything. I’d always figured it was some kind of frozen thing, but it’s serious chicken cooking. You get a big box of whole Perdue chickens in the morning, not frozen, but cold as hell, and you have to break them up into pieces. Some of them you break, and the little bones rip your hands up, it’s so hard, and then you marinate the chicken in this big metal drum. It’s a process, it starts early in the morning. The marinade is water and… it’s all MSG, that’s all it is, MSG and salt and some other stuff, and it gets turned in this drum to soften and marinate it, and there’s these packets that don’t say what they are, and a breading, and you throw it all in this breading, and there’s this basket you shake out until it’s just coated with the breading, and you put it in these cages, this cylinder, then you close the cage up, and there’s a drum-like deep-fry cooker, hot, hot, hot grease, and you drop it in there. When you drop it in, the grease burbles up, and there was a fucking thing where in order to lock it into place, after you dropped it, three-quarters of the way down, you had to turn it and then it goes in, so you couldn’t let go of the thing. They made these hooks that you’re supposed to use to do the turn with, but they just didn’t work. You had to just do it with your hands.

dear clusterflock

Jonathan McNicol — Fri, 16 Dec 2011 18:49:47 +0000

Today is better than yesterday.

Tomorrow will be better than today.

2CELLOS: Welcome to the Jungle

Jonathan McNicol — Fri, 16 Dec 2011 18:44:48 +0000

I’m sure these guys could’ve pulled this off without the excellent headbanging hair, but it certainly helps.

Don’t Forget Your Umbrella.

Jonathan McNicol — Thu, 27 Oct 2011 23:23:57 +0000

I really struggled trying to pick which images to post from this collection of vintage Tokyo subway manner posters. I feel remiss not including the Santa Says You’re Probably Drunk poster. Or the Hitler Is Inconsiderate of Others’ Personal Space poster. Or the These Sumo Wrestlers Are Basically Just Fucking poster.

There’s a real obsession with left-behind umbrellas here. And chewing gum, which can apparently fell even the superest of superheroes.

(via)

I’m dope enough to assrape the dude who made nicotine.

Jonathan McNicol — Mon, 24 Oct 2011 19:08:14 +0000

And, by the way, if you don’t already know these guys, BADBADNOTGOOD, you need to.

Watch this too, then. If you find yourself, though, terrified by the drummer, the thing to do is focus on the piano player. He is a beautiful flower of everything that’s right with the world. Or something.

from my voicemail

Jonathan McNicol — Wed, 19 Oct 2011 23:05:17 +0000

Uh, yes, my name is ————. My telephone number is ————. The purpose of my call is I’m listening to public radio, and, uh, they’re talking about, uh, viral, uh, strains of, uh, birds. Uhhh, I was parked at Walmart, and a woman was feeding birds, and I said, “Ma’am, don’t do that,” I says, “Ya know, they they they know how to live on their own.” And, uh, the guy from Walmart came out, the manager of the store, and says, “Oh, you’re gonna have to leave here because, uh, the, uh, asphalt’s too weak for an RV.” And he was, it was pouring rain out; he was really acting like an idiot. I did call for the Centers for Disease Control, and they don’t seem to care what one way or another that people feed birds. And I just can’t imagine why, since birds spread diseases more than anything else, uh, why, uh, these people just aren’t taking it seriously. But. I’m sixty-six years old; I’ll be dead in a few years. So what difference does it make to me, ya know? It just it irritates me how ignorant we are, ya know? Umm, just don’t feed the birds, ya know? It’s crazy. They can fend, they know how to forage for themselves. And I love birds. I learned how to fly. I’ve been a pilot all my life. And, uh, airlines and corporate. And, uh, but, uh, you just don’t feed birds. That’s that’s craziness. Ya know, and I, but, uh, if more people, if they, uh, really know about it, then, uh, maybe they might do something about it. But, uh, there’s the other people that’s just gonna say, “Oh, hooey, I’ll feed birds whenever I feel like. It’s my right to do whatever I want to do, so.” Well. I guess that’s the case, ya know? Anyways. Take care. Bye.

Also: The related episode of WHYY’s Fresh Air.

quote out of context

Jonathan McNicol — Thu, 21 Jul 2011 17:39:03 +0000

One of the things you learn as a college president is that if an undergraduate is wearing a tie and jacket on Thursday afternoon at three o’clock, there are two possibilities. One is that they’re looking for a job and have an interview; the other is that they are an asshole.

And I Quote, “Gazing at breasts makes men healthy.”

Jonathan McNicol — Fri, 11 Dec 2009 23:48:55 +0000

Just 10 minutes of staring at the charms of a well-endowed female, is roughly equivalent to a 30-minute aerobics work-out.

(Via @wilshipley.)

Video of That Weirdest Thing Thing

Jonathan McNicol — Thu, 10 Dec 2009 03:58:00 +0000

That thing from Norway from before:

They Get Like Little Cookies

Jonathan McNicol — Sun, 22 Nov 2009 17:38:24 +0000