Some phrases with no Google results
- “ate a violin”
- “driver-side bidet”
- “unlike normal furries,”
- “my little horse must think it gay”
- “it turned out her bottom half was a robot”
- “Aww, a baby hooker!”
Also, a list of promising leads which turned out to inexplicably exist. Courtesy of xkcd creator Randall Munroe.
Gimme That Old Time Religion
Missing
I’m a sucker for clever posters.
Went Missing On Saturday, 11-22, 7:00 PM, on the corner of Columbia and Degraw, while innocently waiting a piece of cornbread outside of Jake’s BBQ … Someone, with apparent good-intentions, picked up Mango (hardest working dog in the key lime pie business). We are seeking the return to his rightful master and his place in the pie kingdom. Reward for information leading to the return of our beloved mascot, constant sidekick, canine friend and family member. He is a 10-year old intact male (father of 32), brown on both ears, light-brown “mango” on left side of face. He answers to Mango, Crack-Pipe and Freak-Farm. To verify his identity, just ask him “where’s the rat?” If he doesn’t respond, it ain’t him.
(via Gowanus Lounge)
The Dogmatic Gourmet Sausage System
A corporate briefing from Dogmatic, an outfit doing something or other with baguettes, spike toasters and sausage.
Research shows that most Americans are doing virtually nothing to take the journey to the path that heads toward a quality sausage.
Hard Candy Christmas
With budgets tightening and corporate sponsors vanishing, communities from coast to coast have moved to trim the trimmings. They’re hiring fewer elves and renting smaller floats for their Christmas parades. They’re stringing fewer lights.
Santa bookings have dropped so steeply that the Amalgamated Order of Real Bearded Santas, which represents 700 jolly souls in red velvet, held a series of meetings to discuss their economic survival. Among the tips: If clients can’t afford an extended Santa visit at $125 an hour, offer them a quickie drop-in.
dear clusterflock
Unfinished
Artistic endeavors which I have envisioned but not completed.
Singing Fish, electronic installation - An installation of singing and dancing toys (dancing Santa Claus, Billy Bass, etc.) reprogrammed to perform art music and poetry. Touches on the disposability of pop culture, the subversion of viewer expectations, and the awesomeness of Billy Bass reading Howl.
Challenged
Challenged ballots from the Minnesota U.S. Senate recount.
Finger painting?
More.
Good song lyrics in the spam
She needs to get faster.
Sigh and cry about us.
The swimmer and shuttle
Лорелей.
The rest douche by mine…no.
Thee behind desktop did not suffice.
Then from a man’s crossbar and Adepses
The teardrops sigh also pour.
To forget on an instant I can not
She needs to get faster.
And hair, brows and side barss -
And in a return path,
All is mirrored by spaciousness
From Bad Sign, 2008/11/20 at 11:11 PM
Satisfactory (Zero Stars)
Thanks to one of my first visits to Kurve, I’m aware of a maritime labor dispute never mentioned in the mainstream media. Rock shrimp went on strike in late October, or so I concluded from their failure to participate in the rock shrimp tempura, which tasted only of tempura, and a somewhat greasy tempura at that.
A brilliantly pithy restaurant review by the Frank Bruni of the New York Times.
What is tragedy?
Brooklyn residents answering the question, “What is tragedy?”
(via Gowanus Lounge)
Chicken tractors
“A chicken tractor is basically a bottomless cage or pen of some kind. This is so the chickens can scratch (a chicken’s raison de etre) and eat off of the ground such things as grass, weeds, bugs, etc. In the U.K., chicken tractors are called chicken arks. You can drag your chicken tractor around the yard if you want.”
(Via Boing Boing)
dear clusterflock
The Secret Service traditionally has given pithy, private names to those whose lives they protect. The monikers are a throwback to a time when electronic communications were not encrypted, and they no longer serve a security function. Still, they give an occasional peek at the players’ personalities, in addition to serving as great trivia questions.
President-elect Barack Obama: Renegade
Michelle Obama: Renaissance
Malia Obama: Radiance
Sasha Obama: Rosebud
What would the Secret Service call you?
Flinging theses
It’s Martin Luther’s birthday, y’all. (This image courtesy of Passive Aggressive Notes, a medium in which Luther had some experience.)
Taste we can believe in
Via Serious Eats
Playing with your food
Fun Food Fact: Myhrvold said the inventor of Dippin’ Dots is a scientist who normally works with frozen bull semen. Maybe that’s why I never cared for Dippin’ Dots.
Intriguing revelations from a panel discussion with forward-thinking chef Grant Achatz and Nathan Myhrvold. They also take a stab at renaming the molecular gastronomy movement and expound on the rightful place of lab chemicals in the kitchen and the importance of not getting botulism.
Via Serious Eats
This. Fucking. Election.
The political noise-making of the past 2 years, condensed to 300px wide.
Yes we can
Last night I joined 35,000 people at midnight in a cold, windy field, to have a look at the man who will hopefully set it all right. Obama’s speech was the inspiration it always is, but it was the crowd that really astonished: old and young, black and white. Everyone smiling, and laughing, and believing that, maybe this time, we are the change we’re looking for.
The Two Sarahs
Last night Little Joe and I were eating dinner and he says, “Sarah is bad.” Now there is a little red-haired girl in his class who simply adores him, and her name happens to be Sarah. But he’s fickle as far as Sarah goes, some days he likes her and some days he doesn’t.
“Why do you say that she’s bad?” I ask carefully.
“I don’t know, you said so.”
“I did? But I don’t think Sarah’s bad. I think she’s really sweet, she’s your friend.”
“Not that Sarah. The big Sarah. There’s two Sarahs.”
“Whose the big Sarah?” I ask, still not getting it.
“That lady, the one you always talk about. Sarah Palin.”
Via Bed-Stuy Banana.
A Reunion
This evening I was thrilled to learn than MySpace Music sponsored a Ben Folds Five reunion concert, available online in its entirety. Interspersed with retrospective interviews, the band performs end-to-end the album that marked the end of its career: “The Unauthorized Biography of Reinhold Messner.”
Old News, Good News
So Santa got fired and ACORN is receiving death threats. The world certainly seems to be going to hell. However, in times like these, I think it is important to remember one thing: Greg Pattillo’s Wikipedia entry describes him as a beatboxing flautist.
A cello collaboration on the Union Square subway platform after the jump.
Is it a bodega?
The Brooklyn Kitchen celebrated last Thanksgiving with a bodega challenge: create a side dish for 10 with $20 worth of corner store ingredients. To level the playing field, they provided a helpful quiz to figure out whether your local market qualifies as a true bodega.
Take a look around your local market, does it have the following?
Cat (+1 points)
Organic Milk (-1 points)
Lottery Station (+1 points)
Kombucha (-2 points)
Borromean Rings
Borromean rings are a structure in which no two rings are interlocked, yet the three are inseparable. I’ve been puzzling over the meaning of this lately. They’ve been used to represent the Holy Trinity (natch), but could they also represent some other natural or philosophical truth? Red herrings abound: the Borromean PB&J sandwich, for example, is negated by the undeniable goodness of toast with jelly. I’m flummoxed. Can you think of any other Borromean Thing?
The Flaming Squirrel: A Mixological Remembrance
