Three More, the Third Day…
Tussel kept the pedal to the floor, pushing through resistance. The dusky, snow-blown scenery in his frost-glazed periphery, rushing and slowing as gusting wind pushed against him. Tussel’s car the beleaguered transport toward a what he could not yet name a why for.
I Thought All Was Lost…
Danny and I were watching a movie this afternoon. I jumped over the back of the couch to retrieve my pillow, turned around and toppled my cocktail over the laptop. The glass broke on the floor, ice cubes laying over my keyboard sitting next to the arm of the couch. Danny rushed the laptop up to the hair-dryer as I mopped up the floor. A few hours ago, after, the laptop would not start up. I was trying to use his netbook and feeling really unhappy about it, it not having all my stuff on it. At worst, I pictured the laptop at the spa the next few days. But just now I thought, “I’ll try it once more.” Here I am! I guess a few more hours drying time made the difference.
TG! TG, almighty!
For 24 hours…
our internet connection, at the house, has been off. It just came back on 20 minutes ago. I’m FULL of shit to share. (Well, sort of full.) I feel like I lost the feeling in both my arms and got it back.
Make Me Over
Please enjoy this magical super-addictive timesuck. Upload a photo and in about 30 seconds flat, transform yourself into someone else. I was going to post the one with the platinum blonde Billy-Idol-esque hairdo, but I chickened out. How about some false eyelashes and bangs instead?
Thinking of you, Clusterflock!
not a spam name
Went down the rabbit hole…
…following organ music tonight.
Again, I wish there were an “I’m sorry” category.
So you think you can play guitar?
The music being played seems apt.
(via sublimeguile)
Artifice and foam rubber
In fact, so much artifice and foam rubber is often used to create the sexually alluring woman that it’s sometimes difficult to know where the lady ends and the foam rubber begins.
Via dangerous minds by way of Roger Ebert.
Mining for college money
In my ongoing quest to find college money, I came across a work related email listing all the scholarships available to undocumentated workers. Mentioned in this list was the Ayn Rand Foundation writing competition. So flock, has anyone read an Ayn Rand novel that is worth writing an essay in hopes of getting scholarship money?
Deadbeat Diary, 4
It’s a slow day on the internet and I guess that means it’s about damn time I write this (previously on Clusterflock).
I’ve actually been trying to write this for a few weeks now but can’t quite capture exactly how it feels. Cheap metaphors didn’t really work and a factual description fell short of what I want to convey. I tried making the investor into a villain…and the realtor and the government and the bank and myself and the builder and…
The truth is I don’t know how to write about what came next.
Our first offer was in. It was made clear to us that our only option was to accept the offer and wait. We were told not to wait for more and at the same time that the bank would probably decline such a low offer. It was about getting in the system. It was about making our intentions clear.
At this point we were still current on our mortgage. Alicia was still working. And getting in the system seemed important. How long could it take for them to decline our offer?
We waited.
The bank requested bank statements, tax returns, paystubs, a hardship letter…
We waited.
Levi was born.
We waited.
Sometime in late November the Realtor told us the investor wanted some concessions. They wanted us to sign a promissory note and bring cash to closing.
No thanks, we said.
The bank would not approve the offer.
It was time to start over.
I realized later the investor had no incentive to sell. As long as we continued making our payment, the investor continued getting a monthly check. Our mistake, perhaps, was trying to do it right – trying to anticipate the moment we wouldn’t be able to afford our payment and take action before it came to that.
We missed our first payment in November.
Enter title here
The first video is Miss USA contestants discussing whether evolution should be taught in school. The next is smart people making fun of them.
You probably won’t be able to watch much of the official one, but make sure you stick around for Miss Vermont in the spoof.
(thanks, Tim)
“a deep remorse that you ever doubted him, and a profound appreciation for his contribution to the continued awesomeness of the world”
To prove to you that you love him, Michael Bay knows that he must turn everything up to 11,000 this time around. He has to blaze a pure, bright after-image of his Bay-ness in your mind, so that you walk out of the theater blinking and spitting up lung pieces and knowing what the fuck Michael Bay is all about. Your eyeballs will be twice as bludgeoned. Your adult diaper will be twice as heavily laden! This time, it’ll be in 3D! All of the excesses from the previous two films will be doubly in excess — except for the hip hop Autobots, who are gone.
Gay Superbowl…
Anyone else planning to watch?
optical illusion of the day
The Life Zone
Three women have been kidnapped from abortion clinics and are being held for seven months–until they all give birth. The film, which appears to cut right down the middle, examining the topic from both sides, offers a powerful, anti-abortion climactic twist.
And no, this isn’t satire.
headline of the day
‘Sovereign Citizen’ Opens Fire On Store Because It Ran Out Of Crawfish
For those who hate musicals…
…you might become a believer. So certainly NSFW.
dream name
Austin Derwatt.
Mike Huckabee defends American Exceptionalism from Facts, History
What does it mean that Learn Our History is “unbiased”?
Learn Our History’s products have been developed to correct the “blame America first” attitude prevalent in today’s teaching. While we recognize that America is not perfect and has never been perfect we celebrate our incredible history with a balanced account of the events that created this great nation. We don’t feel bad about the great things America has achieved — we celebrate our success!
You’d think we’d be better at computer generated animation.
“I Just Had Sex”
The jam of the Summer has arrived.
via Ned Hepburn.
Clusterflockstock 3: Outside the Feed Sack
I’d buy that app.
Fuck it I’ve heard enough, I’m going to make some killer android app that listens to every word you hear and uses Google’s voice recognition shit and some semantic networks and logistic regression crap and fucking starts chirping at you whenever it detects someone is hitting on you, make it look like an incoming call from captain obvious or something. It make take a while to accumulate enough training data to detect every subtle hint but it should pick this one up pretty easily. #
One of the 5,661 comments on From Male Redditors: What are some hints females gave you, but you didn’t get them until after you had your chance?
Read more
Atlas Shrugged
Love this:
As you may have surmised from the occasionally snarky tone of what I have written thus far, I am not exactly a fan of Ayn Rand, though my objection to her is based less on her philosophy and more on the fact that her books are virtually unreadable garbage that feature narratives that play like bizarre fusions of a year’s subscription to “The American Spectator” and dime-store romance novels that are written with the kind of prose stylings rarely seen outside of meatpacking guides, hideously unlikable and unsympathetic characters and philosophical arguments so simplistic and silly that the B team of a typical high school debate club could easily poke enormous holes in it in only a few minutes.
Micah P. Hinson – Drift Off To Sleep
When you sleep
What do you see
A million stars to wish upon
Or just me
