finally
About a year ago this post went up without much explanation:
Joel and Deron* have put on something over their jockstraps.
*The one he wears like a mask*.
*To block the image of Michael nesting in Troy Polamalu’s hair*.
*A frequent dream of Deron’s that leaves him feeling oddly aroused.
Originally created by Michael on September 9, 2010 and scheduled to publish the morning following the Super Bowl the post looked like this:
The NFL season has ended
And was changed by Deron on September 12:
I have the strength to say it. Deron, you are the handsomest man I know.
headline of the day, III
Mexican emergency team drops heart in street while rushing it to waiting transplant patient
Ask a law librarian
Fuck it. I’m back.
Big black woman with enormous braless bust: “I woanna commit my daughter, she crazy. They tole me I could come up here an’ git the forms.”
[She lifts her udders and lays them on the counter. The two librarians are speechless.]
Busty: “Cuz she tryin’ t’ break me an’ my Messkin boyfriend UP.”
Librarian [to man nearby]: “May I help you?”
Hispanic man: “No, I with she.”
Busty: “Yeah, she tryin’ t’ break us up. But he would work five jobs if he gotta, an’ no black man doan woanna work one.”
[It should be noted that both librarians are black and male.]
Librarian: “You gotta go to the Mental Illness Court across the street in the Records Building.”
Busty: “Come oan, Wahn, les go.”
from the moderated comments
Well, Fuck me… your still as stupid as before.
coming out of sleep
Filtero.
Photo Out of Context
Boogity Boogity Boogity, Amen
Easily the best Gregory Brothers song of the last year or two:
help help help help
Glenn Beck is moving to Dallas.
the lion’s choice
When is fighting a lion not a matter of life or death?
It’s up to the lion. If he chooses to withdraw, or surrender, and lets me tie him up, then I will not kill him and the fight will end. But, like I said, if it comes down to either me or him, I will have to kill him. But I don’t want to kill the lion, nor am I planning on it. I want to make that clear.
By Way of My Translato-Wheel…
I’ll attempt:
Los frijoles se ubican dentro del grupo de las leguminosas, que se caracterizan por crecer en forma de vaina y se caracteriza por ser uno de los alimentos que contienen más proteínas que constituyen hasta el 20% de nuestro peso corporal y sirven para el crecimiento, el proceso del metabolismo, la formación de anticuerpos que protegen de enfermedades y la producción de energía, entre otras funciones.
Frijoles
It was the photo of a friend’s pot of weekend frijoles that called this to mind, and now I want to tell a story.
It’s a Texas gubernatorial anecdote. Could well be spurious, but even if so, it’s true. In the early 1970s, a white man named Preston Smith was governor of Texas. And there was this Texas member of the Black Panthers named Lee Otis Johnson, who got 30 years for possession of one joint. And then there was this one day (probably one of many) when people were demonstrating outside the Governor’s Mansion or the Capitol. And Preston Smith is said to have asked, “Why are those people hollering for beans?”
They were chanting, “Free Lee Otis! Free Lee Otis!”
Can(nes) of Worms
Lars von Trier made a monkey of himself this past week and no lie. Yeah yeah sure sure, he was indulging in low-key Scandihoovian humor. It just wasn’t funny. “Where’s my rubber chicken?”
But for the Cannes festival’s board of directors to issue the equivalent of a restraining order? C’mon, people. You just opened a can of wriggly worms.
And if you believe the Earth was given to you to kick ass on while gloating? You’re not really a Christian…you’re a Texan
If I weren’t a vegetarian
I’d go into a restaurant and ask, “Tengo niño back ribs?”
Cindy’s Easter Art from Pinky Diablo
from the comments
Welcome to the Jorge California.
Truth in Advertising at Sam’s Club
I apologize for calling Texas ‘backwards’
Unlike many other states, Texas does not ban workplace discrimination based on gender identity, sexual orientation, or marital status. But don’t be alarmed; the Lone Star State is working on that whole civil liberties thing. Last week, Republican State Rep. Bill Zedler introduced HB 2454, a bill that would establish new workplace protections for proponents of intelligent design.
tweet of the day, II
(Why don’t we have a “Kids these days” category?)
facebook post of the day
from the comments
Cinthia, I contando you once, I contando you dos veces. Don’t you go no hablaing no pinche españito in mi casa. I got mi estandards.
Dumbass Texan Spanish
Okay. Several weeks ago I added a new category–Dumbass Texan Spanish–thinking that y’all would be inspired to use it. “Build it and they will venir.” But, no–it has languised on the side bar, lonely and sad as a burro in a hail storm. I abred the goddamn puerta and nadia entrermos.
Here are some examples of how to use this category:
“Me gusta pussy.”
“Ho-zay, haga algunos corn dogs.”
“Loopy, put them flowers in otra vase.”
“Oh my god, Hay-sus, Billy’s ahogoing.”
Are you getting it?
Historic Property for Sale
Old Fort Bliss, El Paso, Texas.
Ten-plus bedrooms. Seven-plus bathrooms. Twenty-five thousand square feet.Three-plus acres.
Kinda pricey for the likes of us, though. Listed at $975K.
But maybe we could bargain ‘em down. The seller is described as “very motivated.”
Oh, and there’s this: “The fort sits on the banks of the Rio Grande River across from Ciudad Juarez.”
Spelled Cuidad Juarez in the listing. Indeed.
