Our Corrupted Blog-Language
Anal grammarians are taking bloggers to task. Take this email sent to Ezra Klein at the Washington Post as an example:
We at Masked Grammarian (a loosely-knit small group of grammar snobs) send corrections to sites on the web when we notice something that bugs us. Almost always, we do this only when it seems worthwhile — a site that we like with a significant error.
In this case, you used the word “impacted” to mean “affected”. Until just a few years ago, “impacted” was used only in a medical sense: unless otherwise stated, it was assumed to refer to fecal impaction. Of course, it could also refer to wisdom teeth, etc.
Due to the rise of MBA-speak, many nouns have become verbified, and we’ve all slipped into using words, such as “impacted”, which were formerly the domain of people who talk of synergy, best practices, 10,000-foot views, and the like.
We just wanted to point out your incorrect (albeit unfortunately well-accepted) use of “impacted” in your 1:08 PM post today. We also hope that we will not be impacted, in the traditional sense, by your light posting schedule, though it will negatively affect our day.
Consider it noted.
I’m going back
to Texas tomorrow, y’all. For a week, anyways.
Big party on Dutton Drive. The last waltz. The final hurrah.
“Hey, my mom’s not at home. You wanna come over?”
photo out of context
Redemption
Sorry I’ve been quiet of late. I have much to share that may or may not be of interest to ‘flockers, but this glimpse into the mind of my late Uncle Ray (through a letter to his friend Jim) may provoke:
The once “Bro. Jim”,
After prayer and meditation the Lord, in His wisdom and compassion, has led me to extend the hand of civility and forgiveness to you who have fallen so far from the fold. But I do not want to place undue emphasis on how far you have fallen or the depths of your depravity but rather on the Hope that shines eternal through His grace and redemptive power. It is truly grace because you, of all people, have through your sins, blasphemies and contemptuous behavior, earned an eternity in hell. If you escape your destiny only grace can account for it. It warms my heart to extend a gracious welcome back to the fraternity of the true believers, the promise keepers if you will. All you need to do is open your heart. It matters not that you reek of fish, gin, campsmoke and possibly loose women (could not tell from the fish odor) so long as you are sincere in your confession of sin.
Come as you are as we softly sing “Just As I Am”.
You cannot imagine how my heart swells to see a sinner return to the Truth as I see it. You should be aware that the Lord’s forgiveness is complete and total but mine is more exacting. Lacking the supernatural powers to see into your heart, I must judge by outward behavior. You would serve your rehabilitation well by inviting Joyce and me up to a Cardinal game before the season is over. That would be a splendid sign of an intent to climb out of the cesspool of degradation and self-elevation that you have inhabited.
You were once a good boy. I’ve been told that. By you, but it was convincing at the time. Open your heart. Accept this lifeline. Put on the raiments of salvation and join me when we celebrate for an eternity. Just put your hand on the computer and say “Bro. Ray intercede for me because I am lost and unworthy but I want to be found and redeemed.”
Jesus and I patiently wait,
Bro. Ray
Spiritual Warrior
These letters keep my dear Uncle alive for me. I hope you enjoy them too.
How’s That?
I’ve got to wonder where they find these respondents.
(via)
All Things Must Pass
It’s an I Ching thing.
Dear clusterflock
What will be your epitaph?
the first legal male prostitute
I think for a male, if you want to be successful in this type of venture, you’re not a prostitute. You’re a surrogate lover. You encompass everything that’s required of you—not only emotionally, physically—but psychologically. Because women are wired differently. They’re much more sensitive creatures. You actually have to enjoy what you do. You can’t necessarily say, “Oh, it’s just a job.” You actually have to say it’s a passion. I think it’s the same situation as with anything that happens when you break apart a social institution. There has to be some kind of change in terminology to describe persons like myself. And it’s more of a civil rights thing now. Basically this is the first time in the economy of the United States that a male has actually stood up and said, “I want to do this for a living.” And be protected under law to do it. It’s just the same as when Rosa Parks decided to sit at the front instead of the back. She was proclaiming her rights as a disadvantaged, African-American older woman. And I’m doing the same. I’m actually standing up now, and hopefully I can be supported by the male community and be understood as a person. This actually isn’t about selling my body. This is about changing social norms.
Congratulations.
(via marginal revolution)
What Cindy Just Said
Well fuck my rubber anus under the fold.
Antiques Roadshow Outtake
This is a piece of shit.
Long Horn Meat
after farting
Said the little lamb to the shepherd boy.
(thanks, Aaron)
once more, with feeling
Microsoft employee gets fired for not saying Bing!.
Don’t know if it’s true, but it’s gorgeously entertaining.
Marine reservist attacked Greek priest he mistook for terrorist
What more do you need?
Oh, Yeah? Well, our Church is Bigger than your Church!
“For more than 140 years, God has put First Baptist Church at the center of Dallas, the nation’s fastest-growing city in the heart of America,” Dr. Jeffress continued. “Jerry Jones recently unveiled a new $1.2 billion ‘temple to sport.’ In these tough economic times, why can’t we use our gifts to build a church building that provides a spiritual oasis and matches the splendor and majesty of God?”
Quote out of context
A harried coworker runs up to me:
Do you want to be the doer or the thing?!
Puppy pimping, a Hallowe’en special
As it turns out, there’s big business in sexy Hallowe’en costumes for pets. Dogs, mostly. I’d like to see you get your gerbil into one of these outfits. I googled ’sexy pet costumes’ and I can’t bear to share the results. Oh ok, then. Unfortunately, it turns out that not all dogs can actually do sexy.
This infomercial is brought to you via Chris W.
Memento Mori à Trois
Hey, Sheila
Did you see this?
Herzog Eats His Shoe
For Andrew.
Dear clusterflock
Do you poke at ant piles?
dot dot dot
Russian Criminal Tattoo Encyclopedia
every sperm is sacred
Personhood USA is collecting signatures to legalize the rights of fertilized embryos.
“It reorients the debate and gets us to the core of the issue,” said Les Riley of Pontotoc, Miss., a tractor salesman and father of 10 who is gathering signatures to put the amendment on Mississippi ballots next year.
For Your Safety
Surveillance camera. Wal-Mart. Galena, Illinois. July 2009.
Listening to Randy Newman singing “He Gives Us All His Love”.
(Newman, 1979: “You know, Dylan has a religious album coming out. He’s changed completely. But I haven’t changed. I don’t believe a word of this song. Just did it for the money.”)