Texas State Fair Porn?
As its butter sculpture this year, the State Fair of Texas will introduce an 800-pound unsalted King Tut accompanied by ghee servants and Egyptian relics.
Ghee servants? Wow.
Virgin On A Grape
Ms. Ginn said many people have been energized by the image, but some have questioned its authenticity. Ms. Ginn said she has not altered the image.
“I can Photoshop a zit off someone’s face,” she said. “I can’t Photoshop the Virgin Mary onto a grape.”
Et boive petit a petit / Combien qu’elle ait grant appetit
She should take only small sips; even if she is thirsty, she should not guzzle in a single gulp from her goblet or cup, but rather in small sips, and often, so that others will not say she is swilling down greedily. She should not swallow the rim of her goblet as many wet-nurses do who are so simple-minded and gluttonous that they pour their wine into their belly as if they were filling an empty boot. She should avoid becoming drunk, because neither a drunk man nor a drunk woman can keep private counsel; besides, when a woman is drunk she can no longer protect herself; she prattles her thoughts and is open to everyone’s advances. She should keep herself from falling asleep at the table; it is really improper, and too many indecent things happen to those who let that happen. It doesn’t make sense to doze when you should be awake; many who do so end up falling to one side or the other, or backwards, and break their arm or ribs or crack their head.
—Roman de la Rose, via 18thC Cuisine
Damn Fine Coffee
I was in Seattle for five days, and made my way out to foggy Snoqualmie Falls to see the places where Twin Peaks was filmed. I saw the falls and looked around for any stray owls winging their way through the misty trees. There was too many people to really pretend that perhaps it was 1989, and almost everything had changed. But I was still so very happy. Here’s a picture I took of the cherry pie and damn fine cup of coffee I ate at the Double R Diner. Norma and Shelley weren’t working.
An apparition
The church clears out quick after the second service. As I idled through the deserted parking lot, something caught my eye. A pile of vomit, bright and baking under the noonday sun. I pulled the car up for a closer inspection. The grapes I recognized from coffee hour; the bright yellow bits were of unknown origin. In a circumstance such as this, I have always wondered: reverse transubstantiation? I looked closely for any sign of the wafer, but like the body behind the stone, it was gone.
Catering the Rapture
Special Report — I think about food too much. I know I do. I acquired the tendency honestly.
When I was a little critter growing up in the compound, my mother elected herself nutritionist for our entire breakaway republic. There’s no telling what Mom would have achieved as Dietician-General if our fifty-two member group had seceded from the United States.
Waffle Bike
“Waffle Bike is a fully weaponized waffle making device complete with call to prayer public address system.”
Have Some Chicken Fried Bacon, Y’all
That’s right–the State Fair of Texas is gearing up again.
the new sensation
Studies suggest a sixth taste sensation.
The four tastes we are most familiar with are sweet, sour, salty and bitter. Recently scientists have discovered tongue molecules called receptors that detect a fifth distinct taste - “umami,” or savory.
“But why stop there?” asked researcher Michael Tordoff, a behavioral geneticist at the Monell Chemical Senses Center in Philadelphia. “My group has been investigating what we believe is another taste quality - calcium.”
someone order the turtle?
Diners were surprised when 60 baby turtles marched into a restaurant on the Italian coast.
About 60 newly hatched sea turtles lost their way during their ritual passage to the sea and marched into an Italian restaurant instead, a conservation worker said on Monday.
The baby turtles — which ended up under the tables of startled diners at the beachside restaurant — were probably thrown off track and lured by the eatery’s bright lights, said Antonio Colucci, who was called to help rescue the group.
Writing Spoon
The spoon’s website (via Quispsologies)
Something Gross
In the parking lot of the Albertsons, a glorious mass of gummy bears (about the size of an Angel Food Cake) appeared somehow, and I watched the cars drive over it again and again.
Vacation Eats 3
Our first night on the road, we stopped at the Park Vista Motel on the Blue Ridge Parkway. It was after nine and the restaurant was closed, but Carol brought club sandwiches to our room and asked if we would pay for them at breakfast. I was really hungry so didn’t take pictures of the sandwiches. Andrew learned about old TVs with rabbit ears, on-off knobs for power and volume, plus this thing we called a “UHF” knob. In the morning, he explained to me that the TV reception improves or degrades based on where the hair dryer was pointed. Who knew?
This is Carol right after she heard an empty coffee cup touch its saucer.
Swine at the fair
Considering his inevitable fate, he looks pretty smug, doesn’t he?
Vacation Eats 2
Here are my mens in front of the Fiddlin’ Pig in Asheville, North Carolina. Pulled pork, brisket, ribs, oh my. It was good eatin’.
We got piggy with it…
Vacation eats
Here’s what we had one day on vacation for lunch at 82 Queen in Charleston, South Carolina.
Appetizers:
Award Winning She Crab Soup with Fresh Crab, Roe, Cream and Sherry
Baked Asparagus, Vine Ripened Tomato and Fresh Mozzarella Wrapped in Prosciutto Ham over Baby Greens with Toasted Almonds and a Balsamic Dressing (Mike got excited and whacked into his before I could snap this shot)
Entrées:
Cake Wrecks, y’all
For Sheila (for Kathy), Cake Wrecks - When Professional Cakes Go Horribly, Hilariously Wrong
Yours,
Found this for Kathy, y’all
“Display only.” I would certainly hope so.
Dear Clusterflock: Trip down memory lane
A tweet from my wife earlier
getting ready to feed my husband’s inner old man at Furr’s because he is excited that one is near us.
I really like Furr’s. Lots of good memories with my great aunt and uncle there.
There is one memory that does dent it a bit for me, and I think Deron can relate to why. You see, Deron and I sorta got started in the whole web thing together. During that time, we worked for quite the jackass. He made us go to Furr’s almost every day of the week.
Tonight, I returned to the specific location we were forced to go to all those years ago and brought some closure to that hurtful memory. Now all that’s left is my enjoyment of the old school cafeteria style eating.
Anyone else out there have a soft spot for that kind of eating?
I Told You So What
There I was last weekend, trying on my fancy clothes for the upcoming Democratic and Republican National Conventions, when the news crackled in over the shortwave: Russia had invaded Georgia. My first thought was, “Clever bastards; I always thought they would come in through Florida.” My second thought was, “What took them so long?”
I suppose the defenders’ resistance has been fierce — everyone in that part of the U.S. is heavily armed — but those folks are going to need some help. Maybe we should airlift a couple million pounds of ground beef into the combat zone. That will stop those Bolsheviks in their tracks. E. coli O157:H7 or litigation, whatever it takes. There are almost 1.4 million lawyers in metropolitan Atlanta. Bloody stools and compensatory damages.
McDonald’s Discontinued Items
An interesting list of the discontinued menu items at McDonald’s. Do you remember any of these being advertised? I do.
Dinner Menu - In early 1990s a New Dinner Menu was tested for 6-12 months at two locations in New York and Tennessee. It consisted of the above mentioned pizza but also included lasagna, spaghetti, fettuccine alfredo, and roasted chicken as entrees. The side dishes included mashed potatoes and gravy and a vegetable medley. For the dessert it included a brownie a la mode.
Ruby Roman Grapes
A bunch of specially bred Japanese grapes sold for $910 at auction.
The tomato-colored grapes made their debut at an auction in Japan’s northwestern Ishikawa prefecture, where they have been under development since 1994 in a state-led project.
The bunch that fetched the top price had about 35 grapes, each slightly smaller than a pingpong ball, Isu said.
dear clusterflock
Have you ever drank a beer in the shower?
My neighbor claims that nothing is more refreshing, but I forgot to ask, hot shower or cold?
thankfuly not a poop scooper
A lost exterminator survived on bugs:
A weary-looking Rosmulder told reporters that he found some relief from hunger at a giant termite mound. “I just hit the top of the termite nest off and got stuck into them,” Rosmulder said.
“Termites don’t taste too bad,” he said at a news conference in the southwestern Australian mining town of Laverton.
Rosmulder was suffering from dehydration but otherwise in “surprisingly good condition,” Western Australia state police Sgt. Graham Clifford said. He said the insects and termites provided Rosmulder a bit of moisture and some protein.
“He kept eating what he used to kill,” Clifford said.
Duck Fart
3/4 oz Kahlua
3/4 oz Bailey’s Irish cream
3/4 oz Canadian whiskey (Canadian Club)
Layered from bottom to top Kahlua, Bailey’s, and Canadian Club