Category Archives: help me jesus

Dear Clusterflock: What was the most comforting condolence sentence you ever heard?

Stolen from Metafilter. I don’t have a MeFi account, so I can’t even favorite things over there, much less comment. So I figured I’d re-pose the question here.

The MeFi thread is great, but bring tissues. I loved this one most:

My uncle, Albert Crary, was an extraordinary man. Not only was he an explorer and scientist of both poles (The Crary Mountains in Antarctica were named by him and the A.P. Crary Science and Engineering Center at McMurdo Station was named fo him) but he gathered stories like no one I’ve ever met. At his public memorial in Washington DC at, I believe, the Cosmos Club, speaker after speaker got up and told about his staunchness, his incredible endurance, but most importantly, they all told a funny story about him: The time he fell off the ice shelf and what he said to the preacher after his rescue when the preacher came looking for a good sermon. The time he went shopping for supplies in South America when they were running a geophysical line across a South American swamp. The time my father put my brother up to calling him and acting like a dumb reporter asking the stupidest questions imaginable about the ice island T3.

Months later, we had a private memorial in his hometown of Canton, New York. One-by-one his nieces, nephews, in-laws and friends got up and told more stories. To all of us he’d been the source of fun, support and laughter when we were growing up – he never let any of us take ourselves too seriously, but he was always there when anyone needed help. When my turn came, I got up, told my story and then said this:

Everyone deserves an Uncle Albert, we were just fortunate enough to have had one.
posted by BillW at 5:23 PM on March 30

(Via the wonderful Ed Yong.)

Internet hatred burns eternally

Clusterflock.com? More like Cluster-steal ideas from other blogs just because noboody reads them so it’s easy to get away with.com

What’s the word for when people steal ideas from other people and then fail to properly cite the person who had the original – and usually much funnier – idea in the first place? You know that thing that college kids are always being kicked out of school for?

Oh, that’s right. It’s murder. Clusterflock is guilty of murder.

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out of context

To be clear, where I work should no longer be described as a “home”, but more a “Bunker of dark Elven magic.” Eleven years have allowed me to transform this garden apartment into the perfect symbiotic workspace, drawing from the best aspects of the Batcave (Burton-era), Tony Stark’s workshop, Cerebro, and the Batcave (Nolan-era).

via stellar

Wholly holy holey jeans

Jesus Jeans has reportedly warned dozens other apparel start ups in the US against using Jesus in their brand since winning the patent.

Others to have been warned include ‘Jesus First’, ‘Sweet Jesus’ and ‘Jesus Couture’.

(via The Daily Mail)

I got road-raged by a nun.

As if driving through Middletown isn’t scary enough. It was like Duel, but more horrifying because there she was!  The driver–one of those Appalachian dried apple dolls in a habit with one wiry hand on the steering wheel, a crooked nose and feral determined staring eyes peering over the dash of a massive white Crown Vic. That’s what loomed in my rear-view mirror, but the side views were BOOM left headlight, BOOM right headlight, BOOM left headlight… she was all over me like a cop.  I’m talking nice residential area here, but girlfriend was in a hurry and I was in her way.

After a couple miles of this, she turned into the parking lot of the First Presbyterian Church.  I spect somebody in there got their ass kicked.