Parallel Universe #243

mike-smith-auto-body

WAY 2 GO, SMARTAZ

When it comes to vanity license plates, the State of Ohio is not amused.

It recently released a list of more than 500 rejected license plates and boy are there some doozies.

When we say doozies, we mean shocked that someone thought they could slip “BIGSEXE” or “IFARTED” under the Bureau of Motor Vehicles’ nose.

(The list.)

(via WHIO.com)

headline of the day

Softball-sized eyeball washes up on Florida beach

Slower Traffic Keep Right on Driving in the Left Lane

I recently got back from France (a trip I plan to share a little about soon) where I was struck by how well people stick to the left-lane-is-just-for-passing rule. Having just driven 12 hours for something else this weekend, on highways both crowded and uncrowded, I’m now just kind of angry. It seems that it’s a point of pride to stay in the left lane (hell, I must be going faster than someone!) and almost never was I able to convince anyone to move to the right (I tried gentle creeping, tailing, light-flashing, and signalling). I now think that I’m generally better off staying in the right lane, where I’m only occasionally forced to pass someone in the traditional manner.

First of all, why do you think there’s a difference (or do you think there’s a difference)?

Secondly, how could the culture be changed? It seems that until tickets for violating the slower-traffic-keep-right rule are as easily given out and as profitable as speeding tickets, it’s not going to be enforced by police (nor do I think it should be, really).

photo out of context

Wedding Moment…

I’ll leave you to complete the story.

Fewt for Thought

How do you feel about this car?

Apparently Lamborghini is working on the Urus.

Flux capacitor not included

via Stellar (I’ve got two invites y’all)

On not qualifying for the Three Stooges 2012 studio screening

At first my long-time friend was offended on learning that he was too old to enjoy the new Three Stooges focus screening. Then he realized that apparently promoters of the new Stooges film are not targeting people 15-29 either.

“Why, I oughtta . . . !” he sez.

Thanks for participating with The Screening Exchange! We’d like to invite you to a screening in your area of the upcoming feature film, The Three Stooges.

This invitation is for kids and adults between the ages of 10-14 and 30-49, respectively. Unfortunately, we cannot admit anyone to this screening that is outside of this criteria.

For a description of The Three Stooges, as well as its MPAA rating status, please see below. Thank you for participating with The Screening Exchange, and we hope to see you at the movie theater!

Read more

R.I.P. Peter Bergman (1939-2012)

Writer and comedian Peter Bergman, best known as a member of the Firesign Theatre, died last night of complications from leukemia. He was 72.

Richard Metzger on Peter Bergman:

The last time I talked to Peter was a few weeks ago. I’d picked up the Albert Ayler Holy Ghost box set, and there, on one of the live discs recorded in Cleveland in 1966, was Peter introducing the band! I called him up that morning and he excitedly told me about that event and we laughed a lot and I told him that he just HAD to write his autobiography.

“Pete, you’re the ‘Zelig’ of the rock era! You’ve been in a film with Jean-Paul Belmondo and Farrah Fawcett. You coined the terms “love-in.” You smoked a joint with Bob Marley and the Wailers when they were your opening act [True, the Wailers opened for Procter and Bergman in Boston. Pete told me the joint was “arm-sized”!]. You guys gigged with the Buffalo Springfield. You’ve worked with Spike Milligan, and now here you are with Albert Ayler, for god’s sake! I mean, come on! You have to do this!”

WANTED: clown outfits (dubuque)

Posted to the Dubuque Freecycle list:

Hi All,

I am in need of clown customs or anything dealing with clowns, for a clown themed Birthday party for an adult.

Thank you

TSA patdown of the day

finally

About a year ago this post went up without much explanation:

Joel and Deron* have put on something over their jockstraps.

*The one he wears like a mask*.

*To block the image of Michael nesting in Troy Polamalu’s hair*.

*A frequent dream of Deron’s that leaves him feeling oddly aroused.

Originally created by Michael on September 9, 2010 and scheduled to publish the morning following the Super Bowl the post looked like this:

The NFL season has ended

And was changed by Deron on September 12:

I have the strength to say it. Deron, you are the handsomest man I know.

Read more

A Little Skipper…

Reminded me, by way of Jean in Deron’s post.

Seems I’ve failed to embed it. Nor link it for that matter. Nevermind. It isn’t that good. Don’t take up your time.

headline of the day

‘LikeBelt’ Prototype Lets You Update Facebook with a Hip Thrust

tweet of the day

headline of the day, II

Paula Deen confirms that she has type 2 diabetes, unveils partnership with drug company

headline of the day II

Beezow Doo-Doo Zopittybop-Bop-Bop arrested

headline of the day

North Korea claims Kim Jong Eun mastered driving at age 3

headline of the day

Detroit Auto Show debuting its first lawn tractor

I really shouldn’t post this . . .

You might actually look at it, and that will be bad. Worse, posting may generate more attention and more traffic. But I’m thinking that maybe Christmas light-lookers aren’t hanging out here with us.

This is the spectacle that nearly blinded us as we turned onto the block for Pam’s and Jam’s Christmas Eve party.

They’ve been living near this since Thanksgiving.

I am thinking they would rather have Carole for their neighbor.

in case the NAzis with the GERMAN dog come back to kick me out

I am clean and keep a neat tent. I shave and shower every other week, we can alternate so some one is always in the tent. My girlfriend will bring food so we don’t have to leave. $1.00 rent is due upon our agreement and is due on the first of every month. It is not refundable as your dollar symbolizes your dedication to the tent and our cause.

(via)

spam name

Elton Woody.

from the comments

Kathy Hilen-Smith:

I’m a dick grabber. Ask anyone.

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