from the archives: October 26, 2010

foley_sitdownplease-640x430

Roger and Me and Lucy.

headline of the day

Married man, 41, arranged sex date with girl, 16, he met on Facebook… but ‘was beaten and robbed by her and her friends instead’

top searches that brought people to clusterflock

naked people
naked normal people
king solomon and his followers lone star translation
my little pony
blue job sex
project runway kenley collins
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youtube sheila ryan

No dogue de Bordeaux (so far today). Let’s not mention it.

headline of the day

The Internet finally reaches its apex as man marrying My Little Pony character writes angry email to erotic pony artist

The Image Toaster

News stories I didn’t read

Woman DRINKS bottle of tadpoles to get them through airport security

Thieves target designer buggies

from the spam

The next time I read a weblog, I hope that it doesnt disappoint me as significantly as this one. I mean, I know it was my option to read, but I in fact thought youd have something interesting to say. All I hear can be a bunch of whining about something which you could fix if you happen to werent too busy searching for attention.

Bonus spam name:
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from the spam

My hair style always fits in with my clothing.

Two videos by Estonian animator Chintis Lundgren

Müstiline raba/Mysterious Swamp

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Internet hatred burns eternally

Clusterflock.com? More like Cluster-steal ideas from other blogs just because noboody reads them so it’s easy to get away with.com

What’s the word for when people steal ideas from other people and then fail to properly cite the person who had the original – and usually much funnier – idea in the first place? You know that thing that college kids are always being kicked out of school for?

Oh, that’s right. It’s murder. Clusterflock is guilty of murder.

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out of context

To be clear, where I work should no longer be described as a “home”, but more a “Bunker of dark Elven magic.” Eleven years have allowed me to transform this garden apartment into the perfect symbiotic workspace, drawing from the best aspects of the Batcave (Burton-era), Tony Stark’s workshop, Cerebro, and the Batcave (Nolan-era).

via stellar

Netflix’s ‘House Of Cards’

House of Cards on Netflix

In its current form, television offers artists exponentially more time to develop a narrative. Over the course of multiple seasons, TV makers are painting compelling characters and weaving their storylines in significantly more layered and complex ways than filmmakers could ever hope to. And talented people are jumping on the train.

Indeed, if the literary equivalent of film is the short story, the literary equivalent of television series is the novel, and both filmmakers and their audiences are starting to realize it.

(via Neon Tommy)

‘Planet Homebuddies’ Chinese Sitcom Modeled After ‘Friends’ to Launch Online

Planet Homebuddies Cast

“We noticed that working around the clock on weekdays and hanging out with friends on weekends is how most of today’s youth in China live their lives, with more and more adopting a ‘homebody’ lifestyle. Our new series will serve as the voice of today’s 20- to 30-year-old set in China, and examine this emerging trend.”

(via The Hollywood Reporter)

I bet some dick said it was a “call to action”

Somebody better find the god damned web guy’s email address and get him to change the year on the copyright notice, because lord knows the we’ll be fucked if someone copies and pastes this shit onto another fucking website even though they’re going to anyways if they feel like it, and like this is in any way legally actionable if they do.

(via @asimone)

Headline you can’t read because you’re not here

National Day of Unplugging encourages 24 hours of enlightenment

(via SlashGear)

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Gallon Smashing is not the new Harlem Shake

On the Internet, memory is often as short lived as a meme-induced traffic spike. This is why you will see people calling ‘Gallon Smashing’ the new ‘Harlem Shake’. These people are wrong.

(via The Vine)

The secret is applesauce

I thought cake farts were a consequence of over-indulgence and a sensitive digestive system. I now understand that I was mistaken.

Today wasn’t my birthday, but I did poop a candle.

If video of the event existed, thousands of views and hundreds of imaginary dollars would be mine.

Unrequited glove

A walk anywhere during winter will discover single, lost gloves, sometimes impaled upon iron railing spikes, more often lying forlorn and trampled on pavements, in gutters. There are so many on these streets, torn black leather, rainbow-striped wool, a tiny Hello Kittty mitten, all bruised with mud, all longing to be reunited with their long gone twin. I wonder what happened that they now lie lost and hopeless in the rain. They look so sad, so lifeless.

I will take a piece of white chalk on my walk tomorrow. It will join the smooth pebble in my pocket and the tiny silver hoop earring (itself an orphaned twin), my constant walking companions, and when I see my next lost glove I will dig the chalk from my coat pocket and with fingers red from the cold and white from the chalk, I’ll crouch down and trace a white line carefully around the fallen thing, across the wrist, up the thumb, down and up and down and up just so. Then I’ll walk on, leaving the glove with its own chalk outline to show that someone noticed its passing and will be back with the forensics kit. One day.

An entry from friend of clusterflock Justine Kilkerr’s tumblr Discombobulated.

Your Morning Local News Summary

Fire in Arcanum burns up syrup operation

Vehicle crashes into house near UD campus

Man uncooperative after being stabbed in back

(via The Dayton Daily News)

My online marketing scheme

Spam names I have not used recently:

Jimmy Tightpants
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He’ll escape. He has to escape.

Runaway Goat Captured By Former African Goat Herder In Brooklyn

(via The Gothamist)

(Still running)

Rented boyfriends keep parents at bay

“I offer such a service only because I’m bored and know fewer female friends at work,” said Ding Hui, 27, a salesman in the plastic industry in Shanghai, with a monthly salary of more than 10,000 yuan ($1,600).

Ding said trust building is very important, and the job is all about acting, which proved to be tough for him.

“I was exhausted as I had to flatter others for seven days and had to think before I spoke. I don’t want to do it anymore,” he said.

(via China Daily)

You thought YOU had serious shit going on in your life

Google News Top Stories 1/26/13:

Casey Anthony Video Diary

UFC on FOX

Asteroids

Harry Styles

Bird flu

Super Bowl Halftime Show 2012

Kim Dotcom

Temple Run

Film Festival

Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart

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