The punctuation mark for people who don’t understand sarcasm.
(thanks, Aaron)
It is soooooo cold…
When have you laughed out loud in a completely inappropriate moment?
The site is updated every Tuesday and Thursday. (via yewknee)
Turns out the pussy shaver just joined Twitter*. Should I pull a prank on him? If so, how?
* Thanks to Flickr Stats, I discovered a web site linking to one of my photos. This web site led me to the aforementioned Twitter page.
It’s hard to explain precisely what this is, but I find it beyond brilliant. Matthew Gray Gubler is an actor, mostly known for his work on the TV show Criminal Minds. He made a series of documentaries about his life, and presented them as if someone else had made them. They are strange, and hilarious. The first one’s all right, but as they go on, they get better and better. More after the jump.
God save little shops, china cups, and virginity!
God save the village green!
(via Waxy)
(via my cousin on facebook, not sure where image is from)
Tobias: “I blue myself!”
Michael: “There’s gotta be a better way to say that.”
Chuck Norris wants to be President of Texas, y’all.
“I may run for president of Texas,” Norris wrote Monday in a column posted at WorldNetDaily. “That need may be a reality sooner than we think. If not me, someone someday may again be running for president of the Lone Star state, if the state of the union continues to turn into the enemy of the state.”
The actor claimed “thousands of cell groups will be united around the country in solidarity over the concerns for our nation” and said that if states decide to secede from the union, that Texas would lead the way.
“Anyone who has been around Texas for any length of time knows exactly what we’d do if the going got rough in America,” Norris wrote.
When I think of you, my Dick Gephardt.
“You don’t need a weatherman to know which way Sarah Palin blows.”
–Elvis Costello, right before his new song From Sulphur to Sugarcane, a very, very fine song indeed.
John Hodgman and Jonathan Coulton are both on the latest episode of the incessantly hilarious You Look Nice Today podcast, answering some of the burning questions of the age:
For the unintiated, YLNT, is produced by Adam Lisagor, Scott Simpson, and Merlin Mann.
She takes the news that “Staying Alive” provides the perfect beat for CPR to its next logical step: shuttlecock retrieval.
Nine out of ten rooftop falls happen because of poor badminton skills. The birdie or shuttlecock lands on the roof, you valiantly go to retrieve it, and Bam! Game over, followed by a trip to the hospital — or, worse, the morgue. Amateur rooftop climbers will be excited to learn that slipping-and-falling prevention begins and ends with the song “Baby Got Back” by Sir Mix-A-Lot. Retaining word-perfect memory of at least one verse of this song helps you balance as you navigate the shingles. No more will you be embarrassed that you know the line, “Cosmo says you’re fat / Well, I ain’t down with that,” yet not a single line of Yeats. So proud you will be thanks to Sir Mix-A-Lot. So proud and so alive.
She also explains what songs to sing/hum/listen to in the event of choking (“War”), fire (“A Horse with No Name”), cougar and/or bear attacks (“Suite: Judy Blue Eyes,” but just the end), and joke-performance asphyxiation in a dry-cleaning bag (“A Case of You”).
Mike and I took on orchestration of a song about Fox… defecation, and mine is sort of a jazzy little number, while you may recognize large portions of Mike’s video. Mike says mine is better. I say Mike’s is better.
Exciting results after the break!
From Wikipedia’s article on simulated reality:
“As of 2007, the computational requirements for molecular dynamics are such that it takes several months of computing time on the world’s fastest computers to simulate 1/10th of one second of the folding of a single protein molecule.”
Does one of your mp3s lack cowbell? Boy, do I have a site for you.
So a guy is sitting on his front porch, sees his neighbors floating up to heaven, and says to himself, “Well, I’ll be damned.”
(thanks, pops)
What’s the Election iPhone app (itunes link) saying?
Olympic Commenter Mary Carillo is sort of saucy and wonderful.
She has also long been known for her quick wit and pointed sense of humor. During her playing days, she was once asked whether she thought Renée Richards, a transsexual, should be allowed to play on the women’s pro tour. “I don’t see what all the fuss is about,” Carillo said. “So what if she’s Jewish?”