The Principles of True Genius

If you have to read the instructions it’s your failure not mine. I sleep four hours per week. So many great ideas scuttle through my brain; the only things that relax me are red wine and country music. If knowledge is cargo and we’re the conveyance, then I’m a dump truck and you’re a shot glass. My inventions offer you opportunities to improve your life. You’re likely to squander the benefits on candy, bingo, and pay-per-view television. None of those are mine. I simply didn’t have the time.
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The secret is applesauce

I thought cake farts were a consequence of over-indulgence and a sensitive digestive system. I now understand that I was mistaken.

Today wasn’t my birthday, but I did poop a candle.

If video of the event existed, thousands of views and hundreds of imaginary dollars would be mine.

Headline of the day 2

Death Star Petition Gets White House Rebuff

New Math

Craig Damrauer put together a slideshow at The Atlantic Monthly demonstrating the math of the technology he expected by now:

When you get right down to it a lot of the ‘future’ things I saw in cartoons, TV shows and movies while growing up have come true. We have instant food (TV dinner + microwave), video phones and 3D television. Robots help fight our wars (drones) and the cops are armed with guns they can set on stun. So it’s helpful to see this as a glass half full kind of scenario. However, there are a few things I’d hoped for that I’ve yet to see. Here’s a small selection.

(via @tcarmody)

Headline of the day

Super Exciting News on Super Polynomiality of LP Formulations of the TSP Polytope

his logic is impeccable.

Things that happened during our date include, but are not limited to, the following:

You played with your hair a lot. A woman playing with her hair is a common sign of flirtation. You can even do a google search on it. When a woman plays with her hair, she is preening. I’ve never had a date where a woman played with her hair as much as you did. In addition, it didn’t look like you were playing with your hair out of nervousness.

We had lots of eye contact during our date. On a per-minute basis, I’ve never had as much eye contact during a date as I did with you.

You said, “It was nice to meet you.” at the end of our date. A woman could say this statement as a way to show that she isn’t interested in seeing a man again or she could mean what she said–that it was nice to meet you. The statement, by itself, is inconclusive.

We had a nice conversation over dinner. I don’t think I’m being delusional in saying this statement.

In my opinion, leading someone on (i.e., giving mixed signals) is impolite and immature. It’s bad to do that.

from the moderated comments

Just to be clear, this comment was intended as a response to “Alan Moore’s Swamp Thing is the best thing since gravity”. Just so everyone’s clear: Gravity < Alan Moore’s Swamp Thing. That is all.

Rhein II

Andreas Gursky’s “Rhein II” set a new record for the highest selling price for a photograph ($4.3 million) yesterday. I must say I rather like it, though I do wonder how these things happen.

In fact, ten percent of all the photos we have were taken in the past 12 months

by 1960 it is estimated that 55% of photos were of babies.

the 20th century was the golden age of analog photography peaking at an amazing 85 billion physical photos in 2000 — an incredible 2,500 photos per second.

When the first few hundred thousand digital cameras shipped in 1997 their memory was strictly limited (in fact cameras like the Sony Mavica took floppy disks!).

That might sound implausible but this year people will upload over 70 billion photos to Facebook, suggesting around 20% of all photos this year will end up there.

And other statistics about the history of photographs.

Unlike Philip K. Dick’s novel “The Minority Report” or the film inspired by the novel, the program relies on algorithms, and not mutants to predict the likelihood of something happening

The police department in Santa Cruz has employed predictive algorithms to reduce burglaries and car break-ins.

The heart of the program is the belief that criminals often commit a second or third crime in the same location and the same time as a first successful crime. For example, if a burglar is successful breaking into a home at 2 p.m. in a certain neighborhood because no one is home, the criminal will use that experience to do it again to another house in the same neighborhood around the same time.

In the case of Santa Cruz, on California’s central coast and home to a University of California campus, that would be about four days later.

The algorithm knows this because Mohler has fed eight years of data on crimes in Santa Cruz into the algorithm.

Now you know, and I guess, so do the criminals.

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