Lena won’t share the good bits
The midpoint of a brief sequence.
She leaves me indigestible viscera and heads with beady black eyes.
Mommy made that ice cream
Frankly, the idea freaks me out a little:
“The fact that human adults consume huge quantities of dairy products made from milk that was meant for a baby cow just doesn’t make sense,” says PETA Executive Vice President Tracy Reiman. “Everyone knows that ‘the breast is best,’ so Ben & Jerry’s could do consumers and cows a big favor by making the switch to breast milk.”
Celebrities Struggling to Make Ends Meet
Some of the most prominent and glamorous celebrities are now forced to order their domestic staff to serve frozen creamed orphan on toast points or canned poached breast of bald eagle instead of fresh.
Meanwhile, average Americans who are not famous or popular or attractive are subsisting on diets of wienie water, dust bunnies, and grass clippings.
Catering the Rapture
Special Report — I think about food too much. I know I do. I acquired the tendency honestly.
When I was a little critter growing up in the compound, my mother elected herself nutritionist for our entire breakaway republic. There’s no telling what Mom would have achieved as Dietician-General if our fifty-two member group had seceded from the United States.
McDonald’s Discontinued Items
An interesting list of the discontinued menu items at McDonald’s. Do you remember any of these being advertised? I do.
Dinner Menu - In early 1990s a New Dinner Menu was tested for 6-12 months at two locations in New York and Tennessee. It consisted of the above mentioned pizza but also included lasagna, spaghetti, fettuccine alfredo, and roasted chicken as entrees. The side dishes included mashed potatoes and gravy and a vegetable medley. For the dessert it included a brownie a la mode.
Watermelons and Sex
The next time you want to make sexy time with your woman, consider watermelon instead of Viagra or Cialis:
A cold slice of watermelon has long been a Fourth of July holiday staple. But according to recent studies, the juicy fruit may be better suited for Valentine’s Day. That’s because scientists say watermelon has ingredients that deliver Viagra-like effects to the body’s blood vessels and may even increase libido.
Hot. Imagine the games you can play with the seeds.
16 things restaurants don’t want you to know
Men’s Health has posted a list of 16 Things Restaurants Don’t Want You to Know:
16. Sit-down chains don’t want you to know:
That their food is actually considerably worse for you than the often-maligned fast-food fare. In fact, our menu analysis of 24 national chains revealed that the average entree at a sit-down restaurant contains 867 calories, compared with 522 calories in the average fast-food entree. And that’s before appetizers, sides, or desserts—selections that can easily double your total calorie intake.
crime and punishment
The Vermont Supreme Court is deciding if nutraloaf, a mixture of “cubed whole wheat bread, nondairy cheese, raw carrots, spinach, seedless raisins, beans, vegetable oil, tomato paste, powdered milk and dehydrated potato flakes” is sustenance or cruel and unusual punishment.
It’s commonplace in other states as a way of providing nutrition in a mechanism that dissuades inmates from throwing feces, urine, trays and silverware. It tends to have the desired outcome. Once the offender relents, we stop with the nutraloaf.
seeds, fertilizer & credit
On Non-Ironic Carhartts
A curmudgeon I know holds forth:
Commentary on the state of farming can be found in the Sunday Styles section of the New York Times. ‘Twas ever thus: The Egg and I, the farming stories of S. J. Perelman, and, of course, Green Acres. Young folks find their way back to the garden, learn about life, cold hard economics, early mornings in freezing rain, etc.
But it’s in the styles section, along with the wedding announcements and stories on relationships, probably for a good reason: this “trend” amounts to a few anecdotes and will only affect the finances of a few. In some ways it’s a typical fashion story, one that gets as irritating as all the ones I’ve read in the past forty years.
pharma-water
A good nutritionist friend of mine says everyone should invest in a full-house water filtration system, because no matter how you cut it, our water supply is polluted and only getting worse. It’s easy to dismiss such hyperbolic claims, but then this comes along and you realize that’s a second head growing on your shoulder:
How do the drugs get into the water?
People take pills. Their bodies absorb some of the medication, but the rest of it passes through and is flushed down the toilet. The wastewater is treated before it is discharged into reservoirs, rivers or lakes. Then, some of the water is cleansed again at drinking water treatment plants and piped to consumers. But most treatments do not remove all drug residue.
And while researchers do not yet understand the exact risks from decades of persistent exposure to random combinations of low levels of pharmaceuticals, recent studies — which have gone virtually unnoticed by the general public — have found alarming effects on human cells and wildlife.
At this point, I doubt any filtration system would be able to address this 100%.
Yum! Brands, McDonald’s Fight Back: Bite Us, China!
Chinese food.
Louisville, KY — In a surprising circumstance certain to offset recent reports of contaminated Chinese products flooding the U.S. market, fast-food giants McDonald’s and Yum! Brands announced markedly increased expansion of Asian-based profits and waistlines.
“It’s a way of maintaining parity with offshore competition,” said a Louisville, KY McDonald’s shift manager whose name could not be recalled by his own employees. “They poison us with lead and melamine; we hit back with cholesterol and trans fat.”
Oil Crisis
We were talking about food today.
I guess I got all wound up tonight and cooked the hell out of some stuff. My family only eats meat a couple of nights a week, and this was a carnivore evening:
True or False: Beans Are the Musical Fruit
The more I eat, the more I toot. The more I toot, the better I feel.
A nun’s beer
Sister Julie Viera samples them all for you (though not to excess):
Who knew that my favorite beer would be newsworthy? Papers across the globe are fascinated with my comment about beer in the Chicago Tribune interview. Maybe I’ll get some endorsement requests from Harp. Or maybe I’ll start a beer column on my blog and review beers that people send to me! I am kidding, though it is tempting.
I know it is surprising to many people, but even religious folk tilt a glass now and again.
McDonalds Answers Your Burning Questions.
via digg.
What’s in your milk?
A selected list of hormones, growth factors and other substances found in an 8-ounce glass of milk.
Organic is more expensive, but worth it, IMO.
What does 200 calories look like?
The Five Ingredients to Avoid
I love Oprah (really). And last week I was watching one of her health and wellness shows and she had a panel of doctors with various specialties on and one of the things they mentioned was a list of ingredients to avoid when shopping: enriched flour, high fructose corn syrup, saturated fat, hydrogenated oil, and sugar. If any of the top five ingredients in whatever you are buying contain these, don’t buy it.
So, I tried it out today when I went shopping, and although we already have been moving in this direction, I was still amazed at how many loaves of wheat bread I had to wade through before I found one that actually had whole wheat as the main ingredient and that didn’t have high fructose corn syrup.