Shit is like fire, if you manage properly, it can cook for you

Jessica Yu directed this short film about Jack Sim, aka Mr. Toilet:

For those without access to a simple toilet, poop can be poison. Businessman-turned-sanitation-superhero Jack Sim fights this oft-neglected crisis affecting 2.6 billion people.

(via stellar)

from the moderated comment spam

I came across my grandfather perusing your blog site instead of taking out the waste

headline of the day

Kim Jong Il Did Not Defecate (And Other Weird Facts)

dueling banjos

tweet of the day

coming out of sleep

I like my sentences like my women: with colons.

Poop Brush

This morning I noticed my toothbrush smelled like ass. I didn’t know what to do.

I didn’t exactly yank it out of my mouth right away. I was thinking.

When I removed the brush I looked at it for a time. Then I sniffed it. It smelled pretty high at the base. Pretty extremely fucking stinky. I thought am I in the movies?! Who the hell has put my toothbrush up their ass, and doesn’t this clown know the right way to insert it?

Ahem. Turns out there was a simple answer. The silver goblet thing that holds the toothbrush was full of a terrible solution. The smell was primordial. It almost knocked me out.

Tip: use a transparent container for your toothbrushes, or create new stinky life in the home. And when you rinse the mouth, rinse the container. Simples.

from the moderated comments

omg love this pic its ma fave luv ya xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

bonus: father of all poo

As Curtis says, “we don’t need to get anal about it”

From a medical standpoint, there are plenty of questions to ask of toilet reading. Most can be worded in vague, euphemistic terms that convey the gist without delving into coprological detail. Does reading material become irreversibly infused with nasty contaminants when carried into the toilet? How long can unpleasant microbes live on glossy magazine covers or, for that matter, the pages of a newspaper? And what does the straightforward act of reading on the toilet do for bowel movements?

A little light reading for your morning constitution.

Also, #buttonhole

(via the browser)

dueling banjos

Wim Delvoye, Tyres

Untitled (Car Tyre)
2007
H 81.5 x 19 cm
Hand carved car tyre

Wim Delvoye is a Belgian artist “perhaps best known for his digestive machine, “Cloaca”, which he unveiled at the Museum voor Hedendaagse Kunst, Antwerp, after eight years of consultation with experts in fields ranging from plumbing to gastroenterology.”

The Oracle

Dear Google,

How are you? I am fine. I have a couple of queries, so back the hell off with the auto-fill answers for right now, okay?

So, seriously, how do you know so much? If I could access useless information as quickly as you do, I would get totally laid. Lightning-quick responses to trivia questions are an absolute panty-dropper—everybody understands that women can’t resist a guy who can do that.

Read more

from the comments

Rick Neece:

I’m pretty sure the Sears Catalog harkens to outhouses and the page you can do without. One would never wipe with a page that held your dream on it.

from the comments

Sheila Ryan:

My friend Ed’s family went on road trips every summer, and they camped. I recall Ed telling me that for a while his little brother, Tom, had a pit toilet fixation. Tom just ached to know what all was down there.

Toilet Paper History: How America Convinced the World to Wipe

The first products designed specifically to wipe one’s nethers were aloe-infused sheets of manila hemp dispensed from Kleenex-like boxes. They were invented in 1857 by a New York entrepreneur named Joseph Gayetty, who claimed his sheets prevented hemorrhoids. Gayetty was so proud of his therapeutic bathroom paper that he had his name printed on each sheet. But his success was limited. Americans soon grew accustomed to wiping with the Sears Roebuck catalog, and they saw no need to spend money on something that came in the mail for free.

via @stevesilberman

What Happened When We Moved Out Here

It’s a little out of the way. We love our new home but the location is relatively remote. Not Montana prairie far, and not Desolation of Mordor far, but you have to drive for almost fifteen minutes to get a gallon of gas or milk. We’re twenty-five minutes from the Interstate, so for the first time in decades I cannot sit on my porch and hear the hum of highway traffic. Are these the metrics that define civilization? Do you choose isolation or insulation?

Read more

headline of the day

Watch a Weather Man Get Covered in What’s Probably Raw Sewage

from the comments

Michael Lang:

I wipe with Quilted Northern. A brand whose complete lack of shame about its naked body inspires me. And so I honor it by putting my poop on it.

Naked Toilet Paper

I’ve been thinking about this commercial a lot. We can talk about it in comments if you want.

Iowa State Fair Update

Gigantor: A one-pound hamburger served between two grilled cheese sandwiches and topped with macaroni and cheese will make its debut at the Bird’s Nest at the top of the hill at 3000 East Grand Ave., by the AE Dairy Stage.

image out of context

(via marginal revolution)

Oscar Mayer. It doesn’t get better than this.

Oscar Mayer Sandwich Combos are one of the five unique varieties of Adult Lunch Combos.

Cindy tipped me to this, and I have been snorting ever since.

tweet of the day

weehuggers

Alicia is researching cloth diapers for Levi and thought this video was something the flock might enjoy.

from the comments

Cindy S.:

Woke up this mornin’
Sun in my eyes
Headed to the bathroom
And to my surprise

I pooped a boot
I pooped a boot
I pooped a boot
I pooped a boot

Now, I ain’t from Canada
Ain’t from Paris, France
But I got me some talent
This here asshole can dance

I pooped a boot
I pooped a boot
B-b-b-b-b-boot
B-b-b-b-b-boot
I pooped a boot
I pooped a boot

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