With its incredible heating power, the television solar beam is not for the inexperienced, and should only be built and used by capable adults.
If you have to read the instructions it’s your failure not mine. I sleep four hours per week. So many great ideas scuttle through my brain; the only things that relax me are red wine and country music. If knowledge is cargo and we’re the conveyance, then I’m a dump truck and you’re a shot glass. My inventions offer you opportunities to improve your life. You’re likely to squander the benefits on candy, bingo, and pay-per-view television. None of those are mine. I simply didn’t have the time.
Bain News Service, publisher. Mrs. Herschel Parker. From the Bain Collection, Library of Congress Prints and Photographs Division.
Mr. Parker (Herschel Clifford Parker) was a Columbia physics professor and a founding member of the Explorers Club. In the spring of 1911 he married Evelyn Naegele. They honeymooned in Alaska.
Mrs. Herschel Parker last saw Professor Parker in 1919. In 1925 she petitioned a Brooklyn court to grant a divorce, citing abandonment and failure to support.
According to Mrs. Herschel Parker, the professor had said, “I am tired of looking after a wife and family. A man with my genius owes himself to mankind in general and cannot be tied down by family routine.”
I thought cake farts were a consequence of over-indulgence and a sensitive digestive system. I now understand that I was mistaken.
Today wasn’t my birthday, but I did poop a candle.
If video of the event existed, thousands of views and hundreds of imaginary dollars would be mine.
Cosmological coincidence: The ratio of the strength of the electric force to that of the gravitational force between two charged particles is very close to the ratio of the size of the Universe to the size of an electron. First noted by Paul Dirac.
[DIRAC and HEISENBERG are wallowing in a springtime meadow.]
HEISENBERG: [Gazes skyward in a distracted fashion. Lifts one arm and slowly undulates hand.] Hey, did you ever think that maybe the ratio of the strength of the electric force to, like, that of the gravitational force between two charged particles is . . . very close to the ratio of the size of the Universe to the size of an electron? Dude?
DIRAC: [Pauses before replying.] Yeah, man. I noted it.