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headline of the day
Where’s my rubber chicken?
I bought a rubber chicken purse, but it turned out to be vinyl. It stinks.
Where’s my rubber chicken?
It’s outside tonight. Off-gassing.
From the Archives: Good Threads
The Blessed Virgin
done tumped over in plain view on Main Street with the Baby J clutching at her tit.
The Sad Allure of The Vermont Country Store
For me, browsing the offerings of The Vermont Country Store is a little like clearing out the house of an elderly relative who’s died.
Tender sentiments and pity mingle with embarrassment and faint revulsion.
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headline of the day
Despair
RT @excitedstoat: RT @Cirinda: @excitedstoat Then I learned about Wisconsin. And bratwurst. And peppermint schnapps. And despair.
— i despair (@DespairBot) February 24, 2012
30 Photos of a Chinese Sex Toy Factory
Offer: Elmo toy
Posted to the Dubuque Freecycle list:
Chicken Dance Elmo. A little dirty, but works.
Sent from my Verizon Wireless smartphone
not all bad news
Hostess filed for bankruptcy protection today. But don’t worry, you should still be able to get deep fried Twinkies at the state fair:
The company said that it does not anticipate any disruptions in the making of or delivery of its breads or cake products and reassured that its popular brands, which also include Drake’s, Ding Dongs and Ho Hos, will still be available.
Like shooting fish in a barrel
12 Indicted On Hate Crimes Charges For Hair Cutting Assaults Led By Break-Off Amish Group
I think this is my favorite story of 2011.
awesome image out of context
via Rocketboom
text my mom sent
check out the bear with boobs behind jesus.
image out of context
quote out of context
Jasha Lottin says she can’t understand why people are so interested in why she bought a horse, killed it, gutted it, then posed naked for photos inside the carcass and posted them on the Internet.
“No idea why people care,” she tells Seattle Weekly.
(Photos might be considered NSFW)
spam from elsewhere
really important: cialis
Nope. They’re not. They’re dead.
If you watch one local cable television taxidermy commercial today, let it be this one.
(via @jasonfried, via @coudal)
Wading birds
Pa’ Cindita, who grieves and delights in the sad and beautiful aspects of dead birds.
Artifice and foam rubber
In fact, so much artifice and foam rubber is often used to create the sexually alluring woman that it’s sometimes difficult to know where the lady ends and the foam rubber begins.
Via dangerous minds by way of Roger Ebert.
unintentionally creepy web ad
Oscar Mayer. It doesn’t get better than this.
Oscar Mayer Sandwich Combos are one of the five unique varieties of Adult Lunch Combos.
Cindy tipped me to this, and I have been snorting ever since.
Tat Musing
“O, lady on bus, I think one day you will regret your cupcake tattoo.”
My friend Alison. Musing en route home.
I told Alison I’d thought long and hard before I got my own tat back in the wayback days.
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“a deep remorse that you ever doubted him, and a profound appreciation for his contribution to the continued awesomeness of the world”
To prove to you that you love him, Michael Bay knows that he must turn everything up to 11,000 this time around. He has to blaze a pure, bright after-image of his Bay-ness in your mind, so that you walk out of the theater blinking and spitting up lung pieces and knowing what the fuck Michael Bay is all about. Your eyeballs will be twice as bludgeoned. Your adult diaper will be twice as heavily laden! This time, it’ll be in 3D! All of the excesses from the previous two films will be doubly in excess — except for the hip hop Autobots, who are gone.
