You are most likely unaware of how many problems you face, and that’s a big problem.

Poised at the brink of precipitous disaster, a man must pull back and consider taking the long way around or perhaps a bridge.

That which does not kill you probably left a trail of evidence and is fully prosecutable.

A scoped rifle and a clock tower will get you onto the evening news.

Fight for what you believe, and fail at it. Get up and try again. By the third time, reconsider your commitment to such a stupid idea.

Throughout history there have been moments like these when we must reflect on history.

Never open with a funny story. You’re not very good at it.

Update: Why Google is ditching search

Also, I learned a very important lesson: no beard jokes at web conferences. It’s like prodding at a shibboleth.

On December 3rd, we took a park and were driven out of it by riot police; that much made the news. What the media didn’t report is that we re-took the park later that same evening, and the police realized that it would be senseless to attempt to clear it again, so they packed up their military weaponry and left. Occupy Portland has developed a tactic to keep a park when the police decide to enforce an eviction.

The tactical evolution that evolved relies on two military tactics that are thousands of years old — the tactical superiority of light infantry over heavy infantry, and the tactical superiority of the retreat over the advance.

The whole article is worth a read, and nicely summarizes Occupy Portland’s serendipitous tactical breakthrough.

(thanks, Joel)

Take a bill or some coins and put the money in a plastic bag. The amount does not matter. Bury it outside your front door while saying, “I am burying my poverty.” Mark it with a stone or something you can find the next day. Seriously, people have not been able to find their buried money the next day. Do this on New Year’s Eve, before midnight. Then, on January 1, dig up the money while saying, “I am uncovering my wealth.” Do this anytime during the 24-hour period on New Year’s Day.

If you don’t have ground outside your door, not to worry, take a pot and bury your money there and place it outside your door or on the balcony. If that doesn’t work, take a bowl and cover the money with a wash cloth and put it beside the door. This is about symbolism and intent. Do not spend the money, ever. Put it away. Some say that if you spend the buried money, you’ll lose money.

If you follow these instructions, unexpected money will show up for you in the next year. Maybe because I believe, this always happens for me. Always. At least in the years the Iowan has not found, and spent, my buried money. I have heard about people who eventually have taken stacks of buried money and donated it to a good cause. For instance, they have donated it to a church or favorite charity and report all is well.

Or you could leave it tucked away in its individual sandwich bags in a hope chest or drawer. And laugh to think about what your heirs will think to find it.

And I wanted to do what the mother of my long-time friend Melanie did when Melanie was little and had a bad cold and a dripping nose. Melanie’s mom took one of those tiny paper baskets they put Jordan almonds in at weddings and attached a string loop to it, then taped the string to the bridge of Melanie’s nose and made a drip bucket so Melanie would no longer have to blow her nose raw.

I hope they like it. The feathery greenery, painted silver, at the bottom the wreath: I couldn’t decide if it looked like hoar-frost or Santa’s beard, but it seemed terribly original.