tweet of the day
Oscar Mayer. It doesn’t get better than this.
Oscar Mayer Sandwich Combos are one of the five unique varieties of Adult Lunch Combos.
Cindy tipped me to this, and I have been snorting ever since.
help help help help
Glenn Beck is moving to Dallas.
Was I Bored?
“No, I wasn’t fuckin’ bored. I’m never bored. That’s the trouble with everybody–you’re all so bored. You’ve had nature explained to you and you’re bored with it, you’ve had the living body explained to you and you’re bored with it, you’ve had the universe explained to you and you’re bored with it, so now you just want cheap thrills and, like, plenty of them, and it doesn’t matter how tawdry or vacuous they are as long as it’s new as long as it’s new as long as it flashes and fuckin’ bleeps in forty fuckin’ different colors. So whatever else you can say about me, I’m not fuckin’ bored.”
Nothing meant to nobody round here. Seriously. Just a clip from a favorite film.
The T-Mobile Royal Wedding
Obviously a dress rehearsal.
I’ve had to leave the damn country to escape this, but, in reality, there is no escape.
dear clusterflock
When you get to a point at which you say, “Well, it can’t get any worse,” but then it does — and then it gets even worse, what do you do?
I know, I know. Go Dao. And I’m trying to get down with the Dao. I always do.
As my friend Steve used to say, “People won’t believe it.”
Think of me as Bruce Lee sitting in the pit in the scene beginning around 4:17 of this clip (from Enter the Dragon). It shows exactly how I feel tonight.
dear clusterflock
Last time you had food poisoning?
tweet of the day
stay classy Rush
The Japanese have done so much to save the planet. He’s right. They’ve given us the Prius. Even now, refugees are still recycling their garbage, and yet Gaia levels them [laughs], just wipes them out. Wipes out their nuclear plants, all kinds of radiation. What kind of payback is this? That is an excellent question. They invented the Prius. In fact, where Gaia blew up is right where they make all these electric cars. That’s where the tsunami hit. All those brand new electric cars sitting there on the lot. I like the way this guy was thinking. It’s like — it’s like Gaia hit the Prius in [inaudible]. It’s like they were in the crosshairs, if we can use that word, it does. What is Gaia trying to tell us here? What is the mother of environmentalism trying to say with this hit?
quote out of context
What could be more natural than fresh, free-range mother’s milk in an ice cream?
All Of Billy Joel’s Greatest Hits Played At Once
Thank you, Internet.
my turducken thanksgiving dreams have been bested
OFFER: Baby Bouncy Seat
Posted to Dubuque Freecycle group Sun Oct 17, 2010 12:02 pm (PDT)
This has been used for at least 4 children, but it’s still in good shape. (It’s blue/green with a bear on it, as well as a little toy bar that attaches.) However, the little motorized part that would vibrate and play music no longer works (I believe). I’m embarrassed to say that it has a little spit up “yuck” on it from the last time my son used it (It’s not filthy though!), but I just don’t have the time to clean it up. All you have to do is slip the cover off and throw it in the wash, and wipe down the rest. It’s great when your little one still can’t sit up and you need to take a shower!!
From a pet-free, smoke-free home.
Please reply with a phone number at which you can be reached. Thank you!!
Must be willing to drive to Dubuque.
Ask a Lawyer
Perhaps a companion to this series…?
Microsoft’s Vision of the Future
Another Rick & Teel Story About an Unforgettable Meal
My friends R & T never run short of stories, and I have posted a few here about unusual meals. Here’s another one.
Two of their friends–a man and his wife–were in El Paso one summer, and they managed to get permission to view some petroglyphs at a restricted site nearby. The rock paintings were on a ranch, and one of the two visitors knew the owner. An open jeep was sent for them, driven by a Mexican man who worked at the ranch. It was very hot and all they had to drink was beer. They all drank several along the way, which didn’t seem like such a good idea when the sandy road started to bounce them around. They made it to the rocky outcrop, took some pictures, and were soon ready to head back. The driver, who had enjoyed the whole outing, begged them to let him take them to lunch at his mother’s house down by the river. The visitors couldn’t decline, and after another bumpy ride they drove down through high weeds and willows to a small mud brick house. A woman who appeared to be in her seventies met them at the door and coaxed them directly to a table near a big stove. She took bowls down from a shelf and filled them with what looked like beans and meat, ladling it out of a huge pot on a back burner of the stove. The son dug in after adding some peppers. The man and his wife tasted the stew–and simultaneously grimaced. Later they would describe the taste as “vile.”
“What kind of meat is this?” the man asked.
Their host got up and went to the stove. She dug down deep with the ladle and inspected various things that surfaced. “Oh,” she said, “there’s some turkey from Thanksgiving.” She churned the mixture again and said, “And there’s a little ham from some Christmas.”
“Doesn’t it go bad after that much time?” the woman asked.
“Oh no,” the driver’s mother said, “it stays hot all the time.”
“How long has it been on the stove?”
The older woman looked out the window and thought for a moment, then turned back. “We moved here in 1951.”
Theatre of Great Discomfort
Quote out of context — and some damned good advice.
You won’t pant in the roadside thistles wondering if you’ll ever be able to forget this, won’t vomit your own bile into a heavily ripped faux-leather passenger seat, or feel an indescribable chill when you turn the world over to find a name tag reading “Dale.” You’ll just be fucked.
My fellow graduates, don’t be fucked. Stand up, take a deep breath, and strangle the ham thick breath out of whatever hillbilly is holding you down.
-Ronya
The explosions will not happen for 10, 15, 20 years.
I can’t get enough of this Gohmert dude. It’s like he’s impersonating himself. To a hilarious and fearsome result.
Dear clusterflock: Today’s Dilemma
Can I do this unobtrusively?
This being: return to the roadside motel where I lived for the past three months, dive into the dumpster to retrieve a garbage bag, open it and retrieve a small trashcan liner filled with vomit and other detritus, and swirl through it in search of a diamond ring that belonged to my mother.
I don’t think I can do this unobtrusively.
Update: I need a step stool or an accomplice to boost me up and over.
Read more
four man rowing team reduces trans-Atlantic record by 11 days
The crew all suffered with food poisoning, which is particularly challenging when four men are sharing a 23 foot boat, and Leven had to perform surgery on Ray’s badly-infected toe with a knife.
from the comments
That “maybe we owe it to ourselves” sentence/paragraph makes me want to cry giant tears of barf.
Bought Silence, Bought Speech
LONDON (AFP) – The head of the American Association of Professors accused BP Friday of trying to buy the silence of scientists and academics to protect itself after the Gulf oil spill, in a BBC interview.
“This is really one huge corporation trying to buy faculty silence in a comprehensive way,” said Cary Nelson.
Puppet factories: depending upon respect for argumentation while undermining its better uses. What methods are best for confronting the results of such efforts, when charges of hypocricy and bias are immediately knocked down by the rushing flood of tendentious speech?
Tainted Fish on a Plane!
I saw this for the first time today, and I am still grinning.
Bonuses: Elroy “Crazy Legs” Hirsch is in it! And there is a Canadian angle!
Everything about this is wonderful. It is one of the things that has made my day.
Quote out of Context
A broken ice machine, well, that’s very appropriate that they’re going to be because in hell, you get no ice.
