headline of the day, II
30 Photos of a Chinese Sex Toy Factory
Bacula (Penis Bones) for Sale
The baculum is sometimes referred to as a “Hillbilly or Mountain Man Toothpick” and can be utilized as a coffee stirrer.
Turns out you can buy a wide variety of bacula (penis bones), including a Bag-O-Raccoon Bacula (limited quantity).
Welcome to San Francisco
A few Direct Messages from Kelsey, who asked me to post them:
SF tweet from an old friend whose tweets are private:
“Walking along Mission, I saw a guy with a funny belt buckle. Then, I realized they were his BALLS, and he TOUCHED THEM as he passed me.”
DIY, Growing Food in Winter
These are lettuce and pea seeds I put in last week. They are growing in my back yard, in a plastic container that held spinach. Yes, it is cold. And it freezes and sleets and ices up, still. But this is winter gardening and people do it even in colder climates than northern Virginia.
You just wash a plastic container that has a lid, punch some holes in the top and bottom, put in some soil (I use a seeding mix) and sprinkle in seeds. Water, close the container, label it with a permanent marker. Place it outside in a sunny area. Now you have a greenhouse environment for your seeds to grow. I may need to transplant these into a larger container before it gets warm enough to plant in the garden.
I also have some flowers and pampas grass sprouting.
Your seeds really want to grow, even in harsh conditions. Like us, they are animated by the life force.
Manhattan Clam Chowder: For Deron Bauman, New York Giants Fan
Though it’s not nearly as famous, there is a non-New-England kind of clam chowder out there. Instead of the heavy cream or milk, this one is laced with tomatoes and a healthy abundance of other vegetables.
It makes for a lighter chowder, but still a comforting one, especially during frightful weather. This Manhattan clam chowder recipe from Martha Stewart hits all the right notes. There is the porky base, the chunky vegetables, and of course the all-important clams.
finally
About a year ago this post went up without much explanation:
Joel and Deron* have put on something over their jockstraps.
*The one he wears like a mask*.
*To block the image of Michael nesting in Troy Polamalu’s hair*.
*A frequent dream of Deron’s that leaves him feeling oddly aroused.
Originally created by Michael on September 9, 2010 and scheduled to publish the morning following the Super Bowl the post looked like this:
The NFL season has ended
And was changed by Deron on September 12:
I have the strength to say it. Deron, you are the handsomest man I know.
Bad Aphorisms
Dare to hope, aspire to succeed, strive to excel, stop making so many to-do lists.
You are most likely unaware of how many problems you face, and that’s a big problem.
Poised at the brink of precipitous disaster, a man must pull back and consider taking the long way around or perhaps a bridge.
That which does not kill you probably left a trail of evidence and is fully prosecutable.
A scoped rifle and a clock tower will get you onto the evening news.
Fight for what you believe, and fail at it. Get up and try again. By the third time, reconsider your commitment to such a stupid idea.
Throughout history there have been moments like these when we must reflect on history.
Never open with a funny story. You’re not very good at it.
Decoding the Decodex (to the Codex Seraphinianus)
For those interested in Luigi Serafini’s Codex, I posted a hack translation of the accompanying «Decodex» that came with the most recent edition.
A Little Skipper…
Reminded me, by way of Jean in Deron’s post.
Seems I’ve failed to embed it. Nor link it for that matter. Nevermind. It isn’t that good. Don’t take up your time.
twitter spam name
Repost of a Post Past
Going down the rabbit-hole of Cece’s post. Great rememberies here, following “flockers.”
Comfort Food
You want two thick slices of meat loaf or three thin ones. Put mashed potatoes on the plate. Spoon some pan gravy on top. Butter two pieces of bread. Skip the green beans if you wish. Everything except the bread needs to be piping hot for this to work.
Unload the washer and transfer all of the clothes into the dryer. Medium heat for ninety minutes. Press the start button. Take that dog-eared poly-cotton blanket and make a little nest on the floor in front of the dryer. Sit on the blanket, with your back against the dryer door. Eat your supper.
dear clusterflock
I don’t mean to go around hawking my wares, but this seemed so relevant and useful to you personally that I thought it would be wrong not to share it. Please keep in mind that I am financially involved with this offer, but even so I think you’ll find I was right to share this marvelous opportunity with you today.
Well now here I’ve wasted a lot of your time with technicalities and jibber jabber, I’ll come to my point quickly. Let me ask you just one question:
Have you ever wanted to have a spleen named after you?
The Mother Courage of Rock
She was skinny, quick-witted, disarmingly unprofessional, alternating between stand-up patter, bardic intonations, and the hypnotic emotional sway of a chanteuse, and she was sexy in an androgynous way I hadn’t encountered before. The elements cohered convincingly; she seemed both entirely new and somehow long-anticipated. For me at nineteen, the show was an epiphany.
Springtime 1976, I was living in the cinderblock building on the glorified median strip there where they split Highway 13, and one day I went over to this one girl’s apartment, she lived right by the guy who dealt me speed, and she said, “Hey, you know who you remind me of? You remind me of Patti Smith!”
Gave her a possum grin I’m still grinning.
Please Don’t Let Me Be Misunderstood
Related to stuff we’re talking about.
headline of the day, II
Paula Deen confirms that she has type 2 diabetes, unveils partnership with drug company
from the comments
Amanda Mae, I’m going to tape your thoughtful comment to the back of my clenched fist for a while, and see if I can slowly release.
Captain Beefheart’s Ten Commandments of Guitar Playing
4. Walk with the devil
Old Delta blues players referred to guitar amplifiers as the “devil box.” And they were right. You have to be an equal opportunity employer in terms of who you’re bringing over from the other side. Electricity attracts devils and demons. Other instruments attract other spirits. An acoustic guitar attracts Casper. A mandolin attracts Wendy. But an electric guitar attracts Beelzebub.
(From WFMU’s Beware of the Blog. Via Brian Beatty.)
Headline of the day
Super Exciting News on Super Polynomiality of LP Formulations of the TSP Polytope
Correction: December 30, 2011
This article has been revised to reflect the following correction:
An article on Monday about Jack Robison and Kirsten Lindsmith, two college students with Asperger syndrome who are navigating the perils of an intimate relationship, misidentified the character from the animated children’s TV show “My Little Pony” that Ms. Lindsmith said she visualized to cheer herself up. It is Twilight Sparkle, the nerdy intellectual, not Fluttershy, the kind animal lover.
Previously, on clusterflock.
(via @kerri9494)
Happy New Year, Y’all
Smootch.
Go Bury Money, Like Now
I’m sharing a New Year’s tradition aimed at drawing wealth to you. I have no idea about its origins.
Take a bill or some coins and put the money in a plastic bag. The amount does not matter. Bury it outside your front door while saying, “I am burying my poverty.” Mark it with a stone or something you can find the next day. Seriously, people have not been able to find their buried money the next day. Do this on New Year’s Eve, before midnight. Then, on January 1, dig up the money while saying, “I am uncovering my wealth.” Do this anytime during the 24-hour period on New Year’s Day.
If you don’t have ground outside your door, not to worry, take a pot and bury your money there and place it outside your door or on the balcony. If that doesn’t work, take a bowl and cover the money with a wash cloth and put it beside the door. This is about symbolism and intent. Do not spend the money, ever. Put it away. Some say that if you spend the buried money, you’ll lose money.
If you follow these instructions, unexpected money will show up for you in the next year. Maybe because I believe, this always happens for me. Always. At least in the years the Iowan has not found, and spent, my buried money. I have heard about people who eventually have taken stacks of buried money and donated it to a good cause. For instance, they have donated it to a church or favorite charity and report all is well.
Or you could leave it tucked away in its individual sandwich bags in a hope chest or drawer. And laugh to think about what your heirs will think to find it.
I was feeling all hurt
and helpless and hopeless, then I heard this on the radio, and my heart rose up in spite of me.
From the Comments
Forgive me for touting my own.
Merry Christmas, er, Happy Holidays, whatever floats the boat.
