May 8, 2013

Stabbin’ Cabin: World’s Swept

In the nameless midwest a puppy encounters a force he doesn’t understand.

Music: “Evil Ball” by Sinoia Caves

May 2, 2013

The best thing you’ll read today about junk food.

“We knew this was a breakthrough idea, so we put on our relentless hats and were determined to not let [this thing] beat us.”

“I mean, it was actually important that we left the orange dusting on your fingers because otherwise, we’re not delivering the genuine Doritos [experience].”

“I remember trying to sell guacamole in the Midwest and people were like, ‘What’s all this green stuff in my burrito?'”

“We realized we needed more capacity, because we couldn’t slow down the Nacho Cheese line in order to create capacity for Cool Ranch.”

“In fact, the companies ended up creating a proprietary seasoner in the process, not least because for workers on the manufacturing line, the plumes of Doritos seasoning would create an almost Nacho Cheese gas chamber.”

April 24, 2013

Lyrics notwithstanding, if this don’t make you happy

I got no help for ye.

April 19, 2013

If this’n don’t make ye happy

then there’s nothing I can do for you.

April 16, 2013

The Duke’s Children

“There was a deuce of a row,” said Maule. Then Mr Spooner, who read his “Bell’s Life” and “Field” very religiously, and who never missed an article in “Bayley’s”, proceeded to give them an account of everything that had taken place in the Runnymede Hunt. It mattered but little that he was wrong in all his details. Narrations always are.

–Anthony Trollope, The Duke’s Children (1880)

April 14, 2013

We all know about male pattern baldness, but

who can explain this one for me? The hair on my head is a mix of brown and white, brown predominating. My beard is predominately white, with some black still apparent. My chest hair is mostly white, except for an almost entirely black swatch on the far right. My arms, legs and torso from the sternum down have hardly any white hair, except for the lower half of my right forearm which looks almost like a beautician did highlights on it.

April 12, 2013


[Fat said,] “That’s what he deserves: a Great Judge exactly like himself.”

“That’s not a bad theological idea,” I said. “You find yourself facing yourself.”

–Philip K. Dick, VALIS

“Author’s Choice”

As many of you already know, the elimae archives for 2005-2012 are now housed as (At the moment, they are still at as well.) But a new distillation is available as well: “Author’s Choice” allows authors that Kim, Brandon and I published to select their favorites from their work at elimae. Have a look.

Opens Tomorrow

Harrison Ford plays Branch Rickey.

April 10, 2013

Photo without caption

Rowan Corkill Squirrel