Bush Ratings Lower Than Pirates, Wall St. Brokers
Washington, DC — Embattled U.S. President George W. Bush continues his long, slow decline into history’s dumpster.
A new Gallup poll places Mr. Bush’s current approval rating somewhere between Brussels sprouts and explosive diarrhea.
“The Administration’s handling of foreign affairs and the events leading up to the current financial crisis is taking a toll on President Bush’s credibility,” senior pollster R. Kevin Buck told news agencies Thursday. “It’s like watching a monkey trying to fuck a football.”
InBev Buys Fannie Mae, Freddie Mac
“Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac have endured troubled times lately,” said InBev CEO Carlos Brito, “but that will change now that they have joined our corporate family. A little tweaking, some layoffs — there is no limit to what we can achieve together.”
“We often make our expansion decisions based on brand equity,” Mr. Brito added. “However, in this particular case the first thing we will do is change those incredibly stupid company names.”
